Dammit, How Many Times Do I have to Tell You, I was Framed!
by Murayama-Tsuru
Summary: Hijikata Toshiro's day has gone from bad to worse. When he's framed for a crime he didn't commit, he flees the Shinsengumi complex and finds safety in the most unlikely of places. Now he has to find out who framed him and stop them before they can bring their plans to fruition.
1. Starting the Day with a Nightmare

**Hello again or for the first time, Murayama Tsuru here. Tonight, instead of updating my Naruto story, I decided to start another story. This idea has been pestering me for a while, so I felt the need to write it down before the idea left me. This story will probably be updated on Sundays until the Naruto story is over. Then, once Manipulated Memories is completed, it will either move to Saturday or Friday, not sure which yet. So, without further ado, here's the first chapter of this story.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei…wow, I don't have to add the bit about not owning NCIS this time…I know, that has nothing to do with anything ^_^ just felt like saying it.**_

_Hijikata was running down an alley way chasing after someone with long black hair. At first, Hijikata had thought it was Katsura Kotaro running away from his arrest again. Which wasn't unusual, since that coward of a terrorist seemed to be the king of running away. Why couldn't he and his duck-penguin companion just stop running and accept that they belonged in jail?_

_But then, when Hijikata finally caught up to the long-haired person, and turned them around to confirm that it had been Katsura he was chasing and not some innocent, Hijikata was shocked by what he saw. The long haired person had Katsura's hair and clothes, but the face was off. The small, slightly stupid yet strangely intense eyes that Hijikata usually had the displeasure of seeing were replaced by the larger, emotionless, reddish-brown eyes of Okita Sougo._

_Once the Okita-Katsura combination noticed that Hijikata had realized who he was, he said in a very Okita-like voice, "Well, Hijikata-san, you seem surprised."_

_The raven haired man gave Sougo a withering look, "Really, I look surprised? What the hell are you doing Sougo?"_

"_Well," Sougo said with a smirk that didn't seem to fit what Hijikata thought Katsura's personality was at all (Hijikata had always imagined that the former Joui Shishi was incapable of making anything even related to a smirk), "this is your dream. What do you think I'm doing here?"_

_Hijikata scowled, as usual Sougo seemed to want nothing more than to piss him off by somehow being both seemingly innocent and smug at the same damn time. But before he could say anything further, the Sougo/Katsura combination's smirk grew feral and a gleam came into his eyes that Hijikata did not like at all._

_And then, somehow, swords were drawn and the two were fighting each other. But, just as suddenly, Sougo-Katsura managed to get Hijikata's Katana away from him and as he scrambled to retrieve his sword, his opponent's blade came down in a sharp, deadly arc._

* * *

Hijikata Toshiro woke up with a curse on his lips and an extremely annoyed look in his eyes. That nightmare he'd just had seemed to ensure that today was going to be a bad day for him. Dreaming that Sougo was being himself and that Katsura was running away from arrest were usual dreams for him. But the strange combination meant that surely today wasn't going to go well for the raven haired vice-captain of the Shinsengumi at all.

And sure enough, once he'd lit his first cigarette of the day and opened the shades in his room, he was greeted by the ominous presence of dark clouds that promised rain. With a sigh, Hijikata watched the clouds as his first cigarette burned down into a small nub.

With another sigh, Hijikata put out his cigarette and then got dressed rather slowly, not really wanting to go on with his day but knowing that delaying wouldn't be any better. At least he was able to have his first smoke of the day in peace. Hijikata then left his room and headed to the mess hall for a breakfast that he would inevitably drown in his beloved mayonnaise.

Which is what he was about to do when Yamazaki Sagaru decided to interrupt his morning ritual. As Hijikata had his arm poised, ready to dispense the delicious (to him anyway) whitish-yellow condiment onto whatever they were being served this morning (Hijikata never paid any attention until whatever it was, was drowned in Mayo) when the badminton playing, Anpan eating spy came up to him and said, "Fukucho, Kondo-san wants to see you right away."

Hijikata turned to glare at the Shinsengumi's spy, making the poor guy flinch violently. But, after holding Yamazaki in his annoyed gaze for a while, Hijikata turned back to his breakfast and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth (realizing that they were having French toast with an egg on top). And, after gulping down a large cup of coffee (also drowned in Mayo), Hijikata stood up and nodded to Yamazaki as 'thanks' for telling him that Kondo was looking for him.

After Yamazaki gave a returning nod that was confused, relieved and scared all at the same time, the vice-captain then strode out of the mess hall, chuckling just slightly to himself that he could still make Yamazaki so nervous. 'Maybe today isn't going to be so bad after all', Hijikata thought as he walked over to Kondo's room.

But when he got there, he learned that today was going to be a bad day after all. When Hijikata had knocked at his boss's door he heard a coughing fit and then a hoarse, "Come in Toshi."

"Are you alright?" Hijikata had asked, even though he knew from the sound of Kondo's voice that the leader of the Shinsengumi was clearly not alright. But, being the slightly (very, very slightly) polite person he was to Kondo Isao, he felt the need to ask the question anyway

So then, after Kondo had said that he was fine, Hijikata opened the door to find his boss lying on his futon, nose red and running, and the rest of his exuberant boss paler than usual, he was reaffirmed in the notion that his boss was most certainly not ok.

Kondo motioned for Hijikata to sit down somewhere and when Hijikata had done so, sheepishly rasped, "I'm sorry to impose this on you Toshi, but can you go to the meeting with Matsudaira-Tocchan for me? I would go myself, but it seems that I'm a little sick…"

"'A little' are not the words I would use to describe how sick you are, Kondo-san." Hijikata said bluntly, "How did this happen anyway? Were you out all night at Shimura Tae's house again?"

At that, Kondo turned an even brighter pink than his runny nose. Shaking his head fervently (and then stopping suddenly as he became dizzy), Kondo said, his voice even raspier than before "N-no, I wasn't standing outside Otae's window singing to her until she came out and dumped water onto may head saying that the water in the bucket was stale and it was time to get more from the well…"

Hijikata sighed tiredly, thinking 'And that is exactly what you were doing, wasn't it Kondo-san. When will you learn that that gorilla of a woman doesn't like you back? I really should talk to her about making you sick; it messes up the schedule around here…'

Noticing Hijikata's increasingly annoyed look, Kondo's eyes took on the look of an abandoned puppy as he said, "I know I should have come back to dry off right away Toshi, but I just couldn't let her go to the well alone…so I followed her and then after walking for miles I lost her and realized that I was lost was forced to wander around in the dark for hours until I finally made it back…but if you don't want to go to the meeting for your foolish boss, I understand…I'll somehow manage on my own…"

As Kondo went on, Hijikata ran and irritated hand through his hair and thought about lighting another cigarette, but ditched the thought when he realized that that might not be the best thing for a sick gorilla (ahem, excuse me, I meant to say person) and said, "You're not going anywhere, Kondo-san. You just stay here and I'll go to the meeting. I'll make sure that Yamazaki knows that he's to take care of anything you need."

After some thank yous and apologies from a happy Kondo, Hijikata left the room thinking that fools actually can get colds (despite a usually high opinion of his boss, there were certain moments when Hijikata could only think of Kondo as an incredible idiot). The Vice Captain then returned to the mess hall where the bland Shinsengumi spy was. Once there, he made sure that Yamazaki knew he was to keep everyone in line today so that Kondo would be able to recover soon.

Once Hijikata did everything he thought he needed to do (this was one of the many times that he felt relieved that Sougo liked to stay in bed until late afternoon, it made things much easier for everyone), he left to meet Matsudaira Katakuriko for whatever meeting they were going to have.

As he left the Shinsengumi complex, the sky finally decided to open up and let out the rain that Hijikata had known was coming earlier. He should have taken this as a sign that it would probably be a bad idea to go out and do anything, but he didn't have the time to think about that, so he put up his umbrella and kept walking, the smoke from his almost too wet cigarette wafting into the sodden air.

Of course, the meeting with Matsudaira was just the old man ranting about how his daughter wouldn't speak to him for some stupid reason or another and how he needed to get the Shogun out to some cabaret club. Hijikata wondered why Kondo's boss needed him, or Kondo-san for that matter, present for this one-sided rant, but didn't voice this question aloud. Unfortunately, though, Hijikata was forced to pay attention through this whole rant as he felt he had to take notes for his boss (in case Kondo had to follow up with Matsudaira later).

Once the interminably long meeting was finally over, Hijikata left the meeting place lighting two cigarettes at the same time, to relieve the stress that inevitably came with a meeting with Matsudaira Katakuriko. But as soon as he was out of the room, his radio buzzed to life with a static-y voice saying urgently, "Attention all Shinsengumi members, earlier today, a Joui Shishi member or unknown origins bust into the complex this morning and stole some important blueprints. All members on active duty must be on the lookout for this man."

Then, as Hijikata started looking for this person as the rain began to pick up, the message proceeded to describe the perpetrator as a tall man wearing a black cape and a Sugegasa. Hijikata groaned internally, the description wasn't very good, since it was raining at the moment, there were bound to be plenty of people wearing cloaks and rain hats.

But then, Hijikata spotted a Shinsengumi uniform in an alley way and decided to see what was up with that person. When he arrived he asked the guy (someone he didn't remember the name of), "What are you doing here?"

The man, without looking at Hijikata said, "I saw the guy who stole the blueprints run out of the Shinsengumi complex so I followed him. I thought I lost him for a while, but found him again just now."

Hijikata nodded and drew his sword, facing the person who the man had cornered. The guy in the black cape and the sedge hat didn't look scared that he had been cornered by two Shinsengumi members, but he didn't look particularly happy about this situation either.

When Hijikata yelled at the guy to either hand over the blueprints and turn himself in quietly or be prepared for his execution right there, the man said nothing and Hijikata and the other Shinsengumi member charged, their swords poised for the kill.

When Hijikata and the other Shinsengumi member were close enough to the man, Hijikata distracted the man in the sedge hat when the other Shinsengumi member somehow managed to locate the blueprints.

Then several things happened at once. The other Shinsengumi member grabbed the blueprints at the same time as Sugegasa man managed to rip Hijikata's Katana from his grasp. The man then used Hijikata's sword to kill the other Shinsengumi member, but he didn't make a move to retrieve the blueprints again.

Then, in a move that stunned Hijikata, the Sugegasa man handed Hijikata back his Katana and growled in a deep, rumbling voice, "Don't think you won't regret interfering with our plans Hijikata Toshiro. I'll be back soon enough and then you'll be sorry."

Before Hijikata could say anything in response, the Sugegasa man scaled the walls and landed on the roof without missing a step in the rain. As the man turned to leave, Hijikata saw a flash of angry, blue eyes.

Hijikata was about to chase after the man when he heard footsteps close behind him. Knowing it was other Shinsengumi members, Hijikata was almost relieved until he realized that the other Shinsengumi member was now lying in a pool of his own blood and Hijikata was holding the evidence of what had just occurred.

With a sinking feeling, Hijikata heard the footsteps grow closer and then the voice that he knew he'd head drawled, "Hijikata-san, what are you doing here?"

**And that is the end of this chapter! Yay, we're starting if off with cliffhangers! As I said before, this story will probably be updated on Sunday starting next week. And for those of you who were expecting the Naruto story tonight, don't worry I will update that on Sunday. So, as always, if you'd like please leave a review, I love to know what you guys think ^_^ see you on Sunday guys.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	2. Thrown in Jail and Knocked Out by a Door

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Here is the second chapter of my Hijikata story. I think that this story is just going to move to Fridays from now on because I feel like it ^_^. So, without further excuses…I mean…ado… here's the second chapter.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

Hijikata did not want to turn around at the moment. If he did, he knew that he'd see that kid's mug looking oh so smug and the words out of his mouth would be the seemingly innocent question of 'Hijikata-san, are you the one who killed him?"

The scowl that had been forming on Hijikata's lips deepened dramatically when he heard Sougo ask again, "Hijikata-san, did you hear me? I asked what you were doing here. I heard that Kondo-san sent you to the meeting with that Matsudaira guy in his stead. Who knew that gorillas could catch colds, eh?"

Without turning around, Hijikata said, trying to keep the strain out of his voice at having to deal with Sougo, "I was in the meeting earlier. But, it ended early, I heard the radio announcement, saw one of our men, and went to check out what he was doing in this alley. Unfortunately, though, the man got away after killing the guy who was with me. And, it's not surprising that Kondo-san got sick, you would too, if you spent the whole night wandering around, lost, in a forest soaked to the bone."

"Really now, is that how you got here?" Sougo asked and Hijikata could swear that he heard the gears clicking in the sadist's prince head.

"Yes," Hijikata growled, not liking Sougo's tone, "that's what happened. Can we just head back now; we've already suffered enough loss for one day."

"But then, why does Namakura over there have the blueprints. I though you said the man in the Sugegasa got away."

"Because," Hijikata whirled around, fed up with Sougo's altogether too many questions, "the guy in the Sugegasa killed him after Nakamura took the blueprints back. As for why he didn't take the blueprints back when he ran, I don't know, ok!"

And that's when Hijikata realized that he had fallen into Sougo's trap. Sougo's chin was resting in his hand and there was a gleam in the sadist prince's eyes that Hijikata did not like one bit. A small smirk formed on Sougo's lips as he said, "Is that so Hijikata-san? Then why is it that your sword is dripping blood?"

Hijikata made an incredulous sound, "I did not kill Namakura or whatever his name is! The blood on my sword is from…when I slashed the Sugegasa man…that's why he couldn't take back the blueprints, because I cut one of his arms in such a way that he won't be using it for a long time…"

"Hm," Sougo said mock thoughtfully, "Then, if we turn Namakura over, we won't see a sword slash on him?"

Panicking just a little now, Hijikata stuttered, "Y-you would find that Nakamura was killed with a sword…b-but that's because….the other guy had one as…well?"

"Sure," Sougo responded with a grin that told Hijikata that Sougo knew Hijikata was lying. Sougo then turned to the other members of the Shinsengumi that had told them to turn Namakura over, who had landed face down on the pavement when the Sugegasa man had killed him.

The other Shinsengumi members gave each other looks that seemed to say that they thought Sougo was just bullying Hijikata again, but they did as the sadist prince asked anyway because they knew that if they didn't, their employment at the Shinsengumi would take a turn for the worse in a matter of seconds.

Once the body had been turned over and the now slightly bloodstained blueprints had been extracted from Namakura before rigor could set in and make retrieving the blueprints much harder, Sougo went over to the body and examined the sword slash that had killed the poor man.

After some tense (on Hijikata's part) examining, Sougo turned away from the body to look back at Hijikata. After maybe a second of silence, Hijikata said nervously, "Well, now that it wasn't me who killed Namakura here, shall we head back…?"

"Sure," Sougo said in a voice that made shivers tingle up Hijikata's spine, "let's head back. I'm sure Kondo-san will be glad to hear that we got the blueprints back."

Hijikata nodded, and turning away from Sougo, started walking back toward the Shinsengumi complex, taking a cigarette out of his pocket to help relieve the stress of fearing that Sougo would not so accidently arrest him for Namakura's death. Before he could get very far though, his arms were painfully wrenched behind him (and the cigarette he was about to light fell out of his surprised grasp) and heard the distinctive click of handcuffs.

Growling in annoyance and confusion, Hijikata turned his head in Sougo's direction, and hissed, "What do you think you're doing Sougo?"

Sougo shrugged and gave Hijikata a mild look, "Just arresting the man who killed Namakura. Kondo-san will be so disappointed to know that it was you."

"But I told you that it was the Sugegasa man who killed him, not me! He used his own sword to do it." Hijikata spluttered

"But," Sougo said blandly, "the slash that killed Namakura was clearly made by your sword."

"Ok," Hijikata growled, "you caught me. I'm not proud to admit this, but the guy took my sword somehow, killed Namakura over there, gave me back my sword, and left. It may have been my sword that killed Namakura, but I wasn't the one who wielded it."

"Whatever you say Hijikata-san," Sougo said pacifyingly, "but I think it would be a good idea for you to come back like this until we can verify whether or not your story is true."

"Dammit Sougo," Hijikata almost yelled, a vein throbbing on his forehead, the desire to smoke ten cigarettes at the same time making a rare appearance, "Why don't you believe me when I tell you I didn't do it!"

"Who said I didn't believe you Hijikata-san?" Sougo asked, his voice barely above a whisper, "But, with you out of the way, I'm sure to become the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi in no time at all." Hearing that, Hijikata began the long walk back the Shinsengumi complex, howling in rage at how infuriating Sougo was.

* * *

And then, they arrived at the Shinsengumi complex and Hijikata's handcuffs were removed and he was promptly thrown into a jail cell. Once Hijikata managed to regain his balance, he turned around and went up to the bars of his cell and growled angrily, "Why the hell are you doing this Sougo? You know I wouldn't kill any of our comrades."

"But Hijikata-san," Sougo said with a wicked grin that didn't match his fake shocked tone at all, "Why should I trust you? You were the one who killed Ito Kamotaro after all."

"Ach," Hijikata groaned, "you wanted him dead too! And anyway, all I did was help him on the path to the next world that he was already on!"

"Even so, Hijikata-san, you killed him. That makes your previous statement about not killing our comrades unreliable."

"Wait a minute, didn't you kill some of Ito's comrades? That would make you the same as me, no? So, that means you know I wouldn't kill Namakura unless he's betrayed us."

Sougo ignored Hijikata's comment and turned to Yamazaki who just happened to be passing by at the moment, "Hey, Yamazaki, watch our comrade killer here while I go get Kondo-san."

"Eh?" was all the hapless Shinsengumi spy had time to say before Sougo walked away, leaving the spy and the incarcerated vice-captain to their own devices. Yamazaki then turned to Hijikata and flinched at the ferocious glare that the cigarette smoking, mayo eating, vice-captain had leveled at him.

Hijikata then growled angrily, "Yamazaki, you better let me out of here. If you don't, I'll make sure that a new rule about not eating Anpan is created in your honor, if you know what I mean."

Yamazaki gulped nervously, but, after a moment, shook his head and said, "I'm sorry Fukucho, I can't do that. Despite the fact that you are of higher rank than Okita-Taicho, I am much more afraid of him at the moment than I am of you."

Yamazaki paused then, as if debating whether or not to tell Hijikata something else. At the dark look in Hijikata's eyes when Yamazaki didn't say anything further, the Shinsengumi spy continued hastily, "But, I can assure you, that you CAN'T escape through the WINDOW."

Hijikata gave Yamazaki a look, as if he thought all that Anpan that the bland guy has eaten had finally gone to his head, "I wasn't planning to escape. It would be much easier for me just to wait for Kondo-san to get here so I can clear this whole mess up. But thanks for telling me that I can't escape through the window?"

Yamazaki rolled his eyes, "Yeah, make sure you don't even try to open that window, it's locked tight. So, if you try to escape from it, it won't work. You cannot escape from that window."

"Yeah," Hijikata deadpanned, "I heard you the first time. I won't try to escape through the window. I'm not like Katsura Kotaro, I like to face my problems head on, not escape through a window like a coward."

Yamazaki rolled his eyes again and gave Hijikata a look like he was the biggest idiot in the room at the moment. But before he could tell Hijikata that he couldn't escape through the window again, another Shinsengumi member passed by and shouted casually to Yamazaki, "Hey, Sagaru, want to go play a game of badminton with me? I heard that Hijikata-Fukucho was indisposed because of something that he may or may not have done at the moment, I think if would be ok if we had some fun for once. Hijikata-Fukucho is a great boss, but his rules can be such a pain sometimes."

Yamazaki frantically put a finger to his lips to indicate that his friend (yes, I'm giving Yamazaki a friend. I usually feel so sorry for him because he's either ignored or made the butt of everyone'd jokes) should be quiet because Hijikata was in the room as well.

Yamazaki's friend, understanding the bland spy's warnings, paused for a minute, then said in an awkwardly stern voice, "Dude, you really shouldn't say that about Hijikata-Fukucho, his rules are what keep the Shinsengumi together."

Before Hijikata could say anything to this nobody about how he should respect the rules that Hijikata created, Yamazaki spoke up, "Of course I'll go play a game of badminton with you Jimi-kun. There's no reason for me to be here at the moment after all. There's no one I need to watch at all."

Yamazaki then left Hijikata's jail cell room to go play with his friend. Before the pair got too far away though, Yamazaki called out to Hijikata one last time, "Don't forget Fukucho, you can't escape from the window, so you better not even try."

And then Hijikata was left, standing in a jail cell, simmering away about how annoying Sougo was for putting him in this cell in the first place, and how stupid Yamazaki was for constantly reminding him that he couldn't escape from his cell.

In order to calm down, and not bite Kondo-san's head off when he got here, Hijikata took a cigarette out of his pocket (at least Sougo hadn't taken those away from him) a lit it, relaxing immediately as he inhaled that sweet nicotine.

Thinking aloud, Hijikata wondered, "Why the hell was Yamazaki going on about how I couldn't escape through the window. It's almost like he was trying to tell me…"

Hijikata's hand came up to his forehead with a loud smack as he realized that Yamazaki was actually telling him that he could escape from the window. It's not like Hijikata had been planning to escape in the first place, but now that he knew he could, it was starting to sound like an awfully tempting option.

Hijikata then shook his head vigorously, he would not be a coward and run away from the building just because Sougo decided that he had killed that Namakura guy. Hijikata was sure that he would be able to convince Kondo-san that he was telling the truth once Sougo came back with him…

…Who was he kidding, he'd rather escape than have to put up with Sougo making him out to be the bad guy who killed that guy when it was really the Sugegasa man who did it. So, Hijikata put out his cigarette and was out the window in a matter of minutes.

Once Hijikata was outside, he walked to the exit of the Shinsengumi and then started running, figuring that the more time he spent contemplating whether or not he should do this, the more ammunition Sougo had against him.

As Hijikata was thinking about where he should run, though, he felt something slam into his head and send him sprawling to the ground. As his vision began to grow fuzzy, Hijikata thought he saw someone through the outward opening door, which confused him, since most of the doors of Edo were ones that slid rather than open outward.

Hijikata's vision then started going dark and he wondered how hard the door had actually hit him. As he was thinking about the door that had assaulted him, he heard a distant voice say, "Oh no, Elizabeth, we have to help him!"

There was a pause and then the voice returned, "Even though he is a Shinsengumi bastard, we were the ones who hit him with the door."

There was another pause and then, "No, I do not have a strange sense of justice. I just believe that we should take responsibility for hitting him with a door." Hijikata missed the rest of the conversation as he lost consciousness.

* * *

Kondo and Sougo were walking back to the room where Sougo had put Hijikata in jail, when Kondo rasped again, "Are you sure that Toshi killed that Namakura? He really isn't the type to do something like that."

Sougo rolled his eyes, "Of course he didn't do it, I just had to rile him up a little. It worked too. By the way, what blueprint did the guy in the Sugegasa steal? Since he didn't try to take it back from Namakura, it must not have been anything important."

"It was pretty strange, he announced himself as Nusumou Chizuo and then stole an old blueprint of the sewers…"

"His name was Nusumou Chizuo?" Sougo deadpanned, "How…apt…" (don't worry, I will explain this at the end).

"Yeah," Kondo croaked, "I'm pretty sure it was an alias, though, because the guy didn't seem very happy about calling himself that."

Sougo was about to respond as the two arrived at Hijikata's former cell, the window wide open and no Hijikata in sight. Sougo blinked and then walked back out of the room calling, "Yamazaki, where are you?"

**And that is the end of the second chapter! Yay! Now, I have stuff to explain. Ok, so at first the dead Shinsengumi guy's name was supposed to be Nakamura because it sounds generic to me. But then, I** **misspelled it as Namakura. I liked the way Namakura looked, so I looked up the word on my trusty online Japanese dictionary and it turns out that Namakura means dull, so that's what I decided to use instead, since this character was rather dull. And Yamazaki's friend, Jimi, means plain, and is also Yamazaki's most common nickname, so it makes sense that that would be his friend name ^_^. And, our bad guy's pseudonym, Nusumou Chizuo is my attempt at a dumb Japanese pun. I came up with this because the dude stole a blueprint and while I don't know the Japanese word for blueprint, I do know the word for map which is****地図 ****(Chizu). And the word for the verb 'to steal' is ****盗む ****(Nusumu). The volitional form, or the 'let's do this' form, for Nusumu is Nusumou. SO, Nusumou Chizuo, translates roughly as 'let's steal a map'…that sounds really weird doesn't it ^_^. Well, with explanations out of the way, I will see you sometime next week. As always, if you want, please leave a review I love to know what you guys think.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	3. Waking Up in the Yorozuya

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Here's the third chapter, it starts off with a man in a Sugegasa ^_^ so without further delay, here's Nusumou Chizuo!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei. **_

While most of Edo went on about its usual schedule, there was one man hopping the roofs hoping that he'd be able to avoid any more trouble than he'd already had today. Of course he'd been chosen to be the one to steal the blueprints (since that was his codename), but never liked being the person to do that particular job because he had to announce himself with that stupid pseudonym and because the man much preferred combat to thievery.

But such was his lot in life, and questioning the boss's orders never brought anything good, so the man never complained…except that he didn't actually have the blueprints with him at the moment. This might have posed a bigger problem except the man was lucky enough to have a photographic memory so that, when the need arose, he would be able to reproduce the map and avoid punishment.

This was another reason for him to hate his unfortunately good memory, he was always the one chosen to steal things, which inevitably brought unwanted attention. If the man had been a part of the combat division of his organization he would have easily been able to dissuade people from attacking him. But, since he wasn't supposed to draw attention to himself, killing those in his way wasn't usually an option unless absolutely.

After some more rooftop hoping and complaining to himself, the Sugegasa man finally found the rooftop he'd only been half looking for. He knocked on one of the roof's windows and waited, realizing for the first time that it was still raining and that his hat only provided so much coverage up on the roof where the wind was blowing considerably stronger.

After what seemed like an eternity, someone opened the door. The Sugegasa man jumped down through the open window and growled, "What the hell took you so long? I thought I said that the window should be kept open for my eventual return."

"If you did," an almost female sounding male voice said, "I didn't know about it Chizuo-kun."

Chizuo (I don't wanna keep calling him Sugegasa man!) winced, "Sorry Kashira, I didn't know it was you. I thought I told Sakubo to leave the window open for me for when I got back…but as usual, she ignored me."

Kashira shook his head, "Don't worry about it Chizuo-kun. Did you get the blueprint?"

Chizuo winced again, "About that…"

"You didn't get it?" a hard edge crept into Kashira's voice

Chizuo's hands immediately came up in defense as he shouted nervously, "I got it, sort of. As I was about to escape to the roof, two Shinsengumi cornered me and I was forced to abandon it. But I did get a look at it before I was cornered, so I can redraw it anytime."

"That's good," Kashira said, the hint of anger not leaving his voice, "if you had, that would not have been good at all."

"I know," Chizuo said, looking away from the slight man, "If that damn Hijikata Toshiro hadn't been there, I wouldn't have had so much trouble getting away. I don't know why you can't just put me on the combat team like I asked; it would make things a lot easier in the long run."

Kashira gave the blue-eyed man a look, "You know perfectly well that you are too valuable to put on the combat team. Maybe if your memory wasn't so valuable to us you wouldn't have to do what, you seem to hate so much. But until then, there are plenty of other things for you to memorize Chizuo-kun."

'Tch,' Chizuo thought, 'I don't want to do stuff like this again.' But aloud, the Sugegasa man said, "I understand Kashira."

Kashira nodded and a not so pleasant smile curled around his lips, "Good Chizuo-kun. Shall we get going so you can reprint that blueprint you lost?" Chizuo nodded mutely and followed his boss (Kashira means boss) down the stairs near the roof Chizuo had entered from.

* * *

Hijikata woke to the unpleasant mix of Sukonbu, strawberry milk, and old Shonen Jump. Unfortunately, Hijikata knew right away where he was and he didn't like it at all. If the nauseating smell wasn't indication enough, the pair of wide blue eyes staring down at him made it unavoidably obvious to Hijikata that he was in Yorozuya's house.

With a groan that was a mixture of annoyance and pain at the sudden throbbing in his head, Hijikata sat up. Immediately, Kagura turned around and yelled, "Gin-chan, the tax thief finally woke up!"

When Kagura turned back to Hijikata, the black-haired man had already lit a cigarette and said, "I do have a name you know."

Kagura ignored this and commented, "Smoking really isn't good for someone who just woke up from a coma, uh-huh."

"And who told you that?" Hijikata asked after taking a deep puff from the cigarette, wishing he had the occasion to drink some mayonnaise at the moment as well

"Gin-chan," Kagura said simply, "Something about if you smoke, not enough real oxygen will reach you lungs, uh-huh."

Hijikata rolled his eyes, "I bet that sugar freak only said that because he just doesn't want me to be able to relax while I'm here."

"Not entirely," Gin responded as he opened the sliding door, "smoking really isn't very good for you Oogushi-kun. But if you want a slow, painful death, that's fine with me. It would save me a lot of trouble in the first place."

Hijikata glared at Gin, not wanting to deal with this dead-fish eyed idiot and his group of marginally less idiotic (except for Katsura) friends, "Well if I'm so much trouble for you, why did you bring me here in the first place?"

"I didn't bring you here," Gin deadpanned, "Zura did. He said something about knocking you out with a door and having to take responsibility for it, or some such nonsense."

"It's not nonsense!" Katsura yelled from somewhere outside, "and it's not Zura either, it's Katsura."

Gin stuck his pinky in his ear and casually yelled back, "Why don't you just come in here Zura? It would probably make explaining your reasoning for being here that much easier."

There was a pause and then Katsura said, "No, I'm staying out here. If I go anywhere near that Shinsengumi bastard, he'll just try to arrest me without so much as a word of gratitude."

Gin rolled his eyes at that, "Well you were the one to knock him out with the door in the first place. I don't hear any sort of apology coming from you."

As Katsura began yelling about how it wasn't him who had opened the door, but Elizabeth, Gin decided to ignore his former comrade's rants. The silver-haired Samurai then turned back to Hijikata and said, "Though Zura is being weird about it, he is right. Even though he saved your ass from possible recapture, you were thinking about arresting him as soon as he showed up weren't you?"

Hijikata raised an eyebrow, "My possible recapture? What are you talking about Yorozuya?"

A cheeky smirk then made its way up Gin's face, "You didn't know? While you were unconscious, the Shinsengumi put out a warrant for arrest. Apparently you killed a fellow Shinsengumi member? Maybe I shouldn't have let Zura convince me to let you stay here."

Hijikata scoffed, ignoring Katsura's usual 'it's not Zura, it's Katsura', and growled, "I did not do that, it was that guy in the Sugegasa."

"Oh really? Then why were you running away? The innocent ones always do that." Gin's grin grew wider

"You wouldn't have run away if Sougo decided to turn the whole Shinsengumi against you?"

"He did that? I knew that boy was sadist, but can't imagine he'd want to share his pleasure of torturing you."

Hijikata chomped down on his cigarette, "That's what he was planning to do…I think."

"Well either way," Gin said with a shrug, "you can't go back to the Shinsengumi now."

"Yeah," Kagura said, not wanting to be ignored anymore, "you'll have to become like Madao and live on the streets from now on, uh-huh!"

"Huh," Hijikata looked at the young Yato in confusion, "What are you talking about? Can't I just stay here until this whole thing blows over?"

"No," Gin said bluntly, "You can't. This is the first place that your 'friends' at the Shinsengumi will look."

"And why is that?" Hijikata asked, lighting another cigarette and ignoring Gin's slightly annoyed look

"Unfortunately, you guys are under the mistaken impression that I harbor dangerous fugitives. Truth is, Zura just runs here on instinct when he's trying to escape from you guys. It's really annoying, and I don't want any more trouble from you tax thieves, therefore, you can't stay here."

"Then where exactly am I supposed to hide? It's not like I know any other people who hide wanted terrorists willingly."

Gin gave Hijikata a look that seemed to say, 'what did I just say about Katsura coming here without my permission', but it was Kagura who suggested, "If you don't want to stay with that Madao, then why don't you just stay with Zura?"

Hijikata moved his eyes in an incredulous stare over to Kagura while Gin seemed to think about the young Yato's suggestion. After a minute, Hijikata looked back over at Gin and asked, "You're not seriously considering this are you? There's no way that I'm gonna stay with the person I'm trying to arrest."

Gin shrugged again, "Well, you know the saying 'you can't see the forest for the trees'. So, you might as well hide with the terrorists so the terrorist hunters don't find you, no?"

"I don't think that's how that analogy works," Hijikata said with a sigh.

As the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi was about reiterate that he was, under no circumstances, going to hide out with Katsura Kotaro, the long-haired Joui Shishi burst into the room and said, "Gintoki, I may have been good enough to bring him to you after I hit him with that door, but I will not let him stay with me! Who knows what secrets he'd tell those other bastards if he were to know where the base was!"

"Oh Zura," Gin rolled his eyes, "all you have to do is move bases. I know you have plenty of 'em. Maybe you could even go to that one in Yoshiwara you told me about…"

Before Katsura could protest anymore, Hijikata interrupted by saying, "It wouldn't be a good idea if I stayed with those terrorists either. Who knows what they would do to me if they knew I was Shinsengumi."

Both Hijikata and Katsura then turned on Gin and started giving reasons as to why it would be a horrible idea for Hijikata to stay anywhere near Katsura and his group, Gin spoke over them, "Well, it's either you stay with Zura here, or I could find some way for you to sneak on board with Takasugi and his merry bunch of pirates. I'm sure that group just loves you."

Hijikata gave Gin a look and said, "You would really send me to the Harusame Space Pirates?"

"Yep," Gin said, "I would. I could do it easily too, that Jiraiya dude owes me a favor after all for when I helped him out in Yoshiwara."

Hijikata opened his mouth to object, but Gin turned to Katsura and said, "Come to think of it, you owe me for letting you come on that trip as well. If you take the mayo freak off my hands for me, I'll consider us even."

Katsura looked like he wanted to say something about this as well, but Hijikata, in his frustration, said, "Fine, whatever, I'll stay with Katsura. As long as you stop being so damn annoying right now!"

"Testy now aren't we?" Gin said with raised eyebrow. But, before Hijikata could respond, Gin turned again to Katsura, "So, as you can see, it's been decided that he's going to stay with you."

Katsura pouted, and then sighed grumpily, "Oh fine, he can stay. But he'll have to get out of that uniform."

"Yep," Gin nodded, "and quit smoking and stop eating mayonnaise. If he does that then he'll just about blend in with you guys."

"Hey wait a minute," Hijikata cut it, "why would I have to stop smoking and eating mayonnaise?"

"Because," both Gin and Katsura turned to Hijikata (Gin with a smirk on his face, and Katsura with a serious look), and Gin said with a smirk, "You're going to be joining a Joui organization for a while. So, it would make sense that you would have to make some changes that will ensure that you're not recognized right away."

"Yes," Katsura agreed, "because we run into you Shinsengumi jerks so often, we have very quick ways to recognize which person is following us. And since you're usually running around, screaming, smoking, or eating something drowned in that gross mayonnaise, mustard is much better by the way, it would be fairly obvious that you were, in fact, the vice-bastard of the Shinsengumi and your cover would be blown."

Hijikata began rubbing his temples, he really hadn't asked for this had he? And yet, it seemed that Sougo wasn't the only one who seemed to want to torture him at the moment. Seeing Hijikata's distress, Gin came over and patted Hijikata on the shoulder, saying in a mock soothing voice, "Hey, look on the bright side, at least now you can break those bad habits of yours no?"

Hijikata groaned, this was going to be a long, needless journey for him to return to the Shinsengumi. Hijikata really hoped that he'd be able to do it without losing his sanity…

**And that is the end of this chapter. If you were confused by the first bit, don't worry, we can all be confused about it together until I figure out who everyone is…woops, didn't mean to say that…oh well, too late now. And also, props to those who can catch the .Hack/ reference ^_^ I will explain why I chose the name for that person at a later date. So, as always if you'd like please review, I love to know what you guys think. See you guys next week.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	4. A Daring Rooftop Escape

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I****amazed that we've already arrived at the fourth chapter! Why am I amazed you ask? Well, that's because I usually say I'm amazed at the tenth chapter or some other high number. So, this time, I wanted to say something that probably sounds completely random because that's the mood I'm in at the moment ^_^ Anyway, enjoy the fourth chapter!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei…but…I would like to own Gintama…or Sorachi-Sensei…either way works for me…**_

Hijikata sighed again, wishing he had a cigarette glowing away between his lips. But no, as soon as it had been settled that Hijikata would be staying with Katsura, Sakata Gintoki had taken his mayonnaise and cigarettes away (including the one that he was in the process of smoking at the time). Then the silver-haired annoyance had proceeded to strip him of his Shinsengumi uniform and hand him, grudgingly Hijikata noticed, one of the Yukata that he usually wore.

Although Hijikata wanted to reject the clothes, he didn't really have much of a choice (unless he wanted to walk around naked, which he did not). Once Hijikata had forced everyone out of the room, he changed into his new outfit, and cursed silently that he couldn't give them back because they fit him.

Before Hijikata could announce that he was done changing (and therefore make anymore preparations that needed to be made), the door opened and a slightly panicked looking Katsura and duck thing entered the room and then shut the door as quietly and quickly as possible.

At Hijikata's questioning look, Katsura looked to his…companion (Hijikata couldn't remember the name of the duck-penguin thing for the life of him) who began writing something on a sign hurriedly. Once the duck thing finished writing, it (he?) showed the sign to Hijikata, it read: _The Shinsengumi are already looking for you. As expected, this is the first place they'd try. We'll probably have to escape through the window if Gin-san can't convince them otherwise._

Hijikata then rolled his eyes and listened to the conversation Gin was holding with none other than Sougo. Sougo asked, "Danna, I'm gonna be direct, is Hijikata-san here?"

Gin snorted, "Yeah right. Why would that mayo-freak want to come here? We're not exactly friends, y'know."

"True," Sougo drawled, "but there were reports earlier that Katsura and his weird duck thing came here earlier, dragging someone in a Shinsengumi uniform with them."

"Well those reports were wrong." Gin said simply, and Hijikata was amazed at the ease in which Gin was able to lie to Sougo like that. If it had been him, Hijikata would have been extremely obvious about lying to the sadistic Sougo.

Before Sougo could ask anything else, Kagura's voice spoke up loudly, "Go away sadist thief! If Gin-chan says that your boss isn't here, then he isn't, uh-huh! You should probably just check the mayonnaise store."

Hijikata could almost hear the air crackle with the force of Sougo's glare. But, instead of provoking Kagura in anyway as Hijikata thought he would, Sougo said darkly, "Hijikata never has and never will be my boss. You know why we're looking for him China?"

There was a pause in which Hijikata imagined that Kagura was glaring at Sougo just as fiercely as he had been before; he never actually understood why those two were always at each other's throats, but he never really questioned Sougo about it because he was sure that the sadist prince would just blow him off as he usually did.

Just as the charged silence was beginning to weigh on Hijikata's sanity, Gin interrupted lazily (and a little impatiently), "Soujiro, if you don't believe me, you can bring some of the rest of your gang up here and search my house. I'm sure you won't find anything out of place."

There was another pause, and just as Hijikata was about to bolt out of the Yorozuya's window, Sougo said, "yeah, sure, whatever. I'm sure Kondo-san would be overjoyed to find Hijikata-san here to question him."

Then Sougo left the house, closing the door with a bang and Gin said, "Well, now's your chance to leave, Zura, make sure you don't make too much noise. I'd hate for Soujuro-kun to think me a liar."

Just as Hijikata was about to make a comment about how Sougo already thought he was a liar, Katsura opened the window and started climbing out. Before the exuberant Joui member could get halfway out the window, Hijikata pulled him back inside and whispered angrily, "What the hell are you doing? We can't escape that way, there are sure to be guys posted outside there."

Katsura turned around and gave Hijikata a withering look, "If that were true, then you fools would have caught me long ago. I use this window to escape all the time. Usually though, I try to leave with a bang, by rubbing it in your faces that I got away. But since Gintoki wants us to escape quietly this time, that is what we shall do."

Before Hijikata could say anything else, Katsura shook off Hijikata's grip of the long-haired man's clothes, and turned back to the window which Elizabeth (Hijikata suddenly remembered the thing's name) was already climbing out of.

After a comedic (to anyone who wasn't a trying-to-escape Hijikata) few moments of Elizabeth almost getting stuck in the window, Katsura managed to push the duck-penguin thing out the window and began going through it himself. Once Katsura was on the ledge by the window, he turned to Hijikata and said, "Come on. As much as I would like to leave you behind, I owe Gintoki for all the times he's let me escape from you guys, so I have to take you to my hideout."

"Tch," Hijikata growled, walking over to the window, his Shinsengumi uniform in hand for some reason,  
"Don't you mean you owe me for knocking me out with a door?"

As Hijikata climbed out the window himself, Katsura grinned, "No, I already repaid that debt by bringing you here. This favor is all for Gintoki. You are a Shinsengumi bastard after all, why would I owe you anything more than bringing you to a safe place?"

Hijikata rolled his eyes, but said nothing else as he followed Katsura as he began to hop the roofs to escape the rest of the Shinsengumi unnoticed. As Hijikata was jumping to the roof next to the Yorozuya's, he heard Gin yell, "Get away from me you sick gorilla! I don't want to catch whatever germs you have!"

Hijikata frowned slightly at that, even though Sougo had said Kondo was there, Hijikata had, wrongly it seems, thought that Sougo was just saying that as a ploy to get Hijikata to come out of hiding. But, Hijikata decided not to dwell on it much further, as concentrating on jumping roofs was probably more important at the moment.

Once Katsura thought that they had gotten a far enough distance away from the Yorozuya's house, the three descended from the building they were on and began walking the rest of the way to Katsura's hideout. Katsura had, at first, insisted that Hijikata should wear a blindfold the rest of the way, but Hijikata and Elizabeth (surprisingly) shot that idea down.

When Katsura asked Elizabeth why, the duck-penguin thing's sign read: _Because, if our guest wears a blindfold, I'm going to end up carrying him back to base. That's what happened when you knocked him out as well Katsura-san. I don't want to carry the extra weight._

Katsura nodded, as if what Elizabeth had just written down made any sense at all. But, before the three could continue their walk to the Katsura's base, he turned back to Hijikata and said, "You should at least ditch that uniform."

"Why?" Hijikata asked, annoyed, that he couldn't keep the uniform with him (it would give him comfort in the foreign, lawless, Joui world he was about to enter, after all)

"You'll stick out like a sore thumb as it is," Katsura said with a slight scowl, "you can just come back for it later. It's not like people would want to steal that uniform after all. What use it a uniform that just makes people run away from you?"

Hijikata gave Katsura a murderous glare, but, after a moment, put down his Shinsengumi uniform gently in a, hopefully, hidden spot and turned back to Katsura, "I at least get to keep my sword, no?"

"Of course," Katsura said, "that's what sets us Joui members apart from regular people, our rebellious spirit to carry swords despite the ban."

"If you say so…" Hijikata said with an eye roll as the three continued the walk to Katsura's hideout. As they were walking, Hijikata began thinking about how awful this day had gone. If he had heeded what that nightmare had been trying to tell him this morning, he never would have said yes to Kondo about that meeting with Matsudaira.

…Actually, he would have; but Hijikata liked to think he would have had enough presence of mind to not get on Sougo's sadistic side. Soon, Hijikata was whacked out of his musings about this dreadful day by a sign that read: _Will you quit it with the sighing already? I know that this is a favor for Gin-san, but you're getting annoying. If you don't want to stay with us that much, that's fine, you can just leave already!_

Hijikata, rubbing his head, glared at the duck-penguin, who was glaring (maybe) back at him. But before could trade blows (or words even), Katsura said with a sunny smile on his face, "Well here we are at our current base."

Hijikata turned away from Elizabeth and looked at the building he would be staying at until this whole thing blew over. After a second, he turned back to Katsura and asked, "Is…this really your base…?"

After Katsura's nod, Hijikata said, "But…it's a flower shop."

"Yes," Katsura responded, "it's the perfect cover don't you think?" Hijikata didn't really know how to respond to that. After a while, realizing that Hijikata wasn't going to say anything further, opened to door and went into the building.

Hijikata suddenly felt uncharacteristically nervous; what if he was found out immediately? It's not like Katsura had to keep his promise or anything. Elizabeth then showed Hijikata a sign that said _Are you coming in or not?_ With a gulp, Hijikata followed Elizabeth into the building.

* * *

As the last of the Shinsengumi members finally left his (rented) house, Gin didn't bother suppressing his groan of utter annoyance. It was a good thing that Zura, Elizabeth and that mayo-freak had escaped when they did, Gin was sure that he wouldn't have been able to deal with either of them now.

When Katsura had brought that mayo-freak in, a hysterical look on his face, Gin had actually been worried for the two of them for about a minute (only because it would mean much more trouble than he wanted to deal with at the moment he told himself). But once Katsura had told him what happened, Gin couldn't help but laugh at how dramatic Katsura was being.

The silver haired Samurai had then told his comrade that if he'd managed to kill off Hijikata with a door to the head, he would join Katsura's cause for rebellion against the Bakufu that very instant. Katsura had actually looked slightly disappointed when that cigarette addict had woken up.

But, that being said, Gin was still glad that those three were out of his hair now. With another sigh, Gin turned to Kagura and said, "Well now that that's over, I'm going to go drinking. See you later."

Kagura pouted slightly and said, "Just make sure you don't drink so much that you find yourself in strange basements, uh-huh."

Gin chuckled at that, "I'm sure that won't happen Kagura-chan, I do have an extremely high alcohol tolerance after all."

Shinpachi then popped in to say, "No you don't Gin-san, you always do strange things when you're drunk. Try not to get into too much trouble this time ok?"

Gin rolled his eyes, "See you tomorrow Pattsuan, try not to get into too much trouble while I'm out ok?" Gin ignored Shinpachi's annoyed protest about how he never got into trouble and walked out the door, already beginning to forget his troubles. He completely missed the girl with the blue bow following him to his usual bar.

* * *

Chizuo sighed and put down his pencil. He always hated reprinting maps, even with his fantastic memory. Someone, usually that annoying Sakubo, always complained about how he couldn't draw anything well enough for them. His usual solution was to actually keep the blueprints he stole, but that hadn't seemed to be a very good option for him this time.

"Oh Chizuo, as usual, your drawing is terrible. Why didn't you go to that art class I signed you up for that one time?" a snooty voice drawled.

Speak of the devil, Chizuo groaned internally, he turned around and saw the short, flaxen-haired figure of the leader of the intelligence division, Sakubo. "Well, I would have taken that art class, but I had something else to do at the time so I missed it." Chizuo growled, "And don't call me Chizuo, you know how much I hate that codename."

Sakubo smirked at him maliciously, "But that's why I call you by that name _Chizuo, _because you dislike it so much. If you didn't mention it, I would call you by your real name."

Chizuo's eyes narrowed slightly, not wanting to deal with this pain-in-the-ass of a woman right now, "Is there any reason you've come here other than to annoy me?"

"Of course there is," Sakubo huffed, "Kashira sent me here to see if you were done with the reprint yet? We need to start with the second phase of our plan soon."

"I know." Chizuo snapped, "And yes it's done. I was just getting ready to walk it over to Kashira now."

"Good, then let's go." Sakubo said, reaching for the blueprint reprint. But before she could get it, Chizuo snatched it up and walked out of the room, ignoring Sakubo's yelling at him; that would teach her to call him Chizuo anymore.

**And that is the end of this chapter ^_^ I bet you noticed how I tied it in with my NCIS crossover ^_^. This is to let you know that Gin probably isn't going to be in the rest of the story…But, Gibbs might make an appearance if I feel like it ^_^ well, that's it for this author's note, see you guys next week. As always, if you'd like please leave a review I love to know what you guys think.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	5. Flower Shops, Aliases, and a Game of UNO

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here! Tomorrow, maybe, I will be able to obtain the 49****th**** volume of Gintama it Japanese. I looked up to cover on the Japanese Amazon and it features Ikumatsu-dono! Well, with that announcement out of the way, I hope you enjoy the chapter ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei. I also don't own UNO, but I don't really remember who it belongs to nor do I really feel like looking it up. Despite my laziness, though, it's not mine…**_

As Kashira looked over the blueprints, Chizuo silently hoped that he had been forgiven for leaving the originals with that dead Shinsengumi member. Sure, Kashira probably would have been much happier with Chizuo if he had killed that damn Hijikata bastard as well, but Chizuo hadn't had time for that particular pleasure at that point in time.

Lost in his regrets over not being able to do exactly as Kashira had asked of him, Chizuo didn't hear Kashira trying to get his attention. In fact, it wasn't until Kashira said, "Shizuka, did you hear me?" that Chizuo was jolted out of his head and back into Kashira's office

Sakubo snickered derisively and Chizuo felt his ears start to burn at the fact that Kashira had been forced to use his real name to get his attention (sure, Chizuo didn't actually like his codename, but it was almost not so bad if Kashira called him by that name). Realizing that Kashira still expected an answer from him, Chizuo said quietly, "I'm listening now Kashira."

Kashira gave a small noise that Chizuo couldn't tell whether was amusement or irritation and said, "Good. Well, you know where you re yo report to next. As of this moment, you are officially a temporary member of the combat unit. Go see section leader Youichi to start your training. We will commence the operation in a week's time. You both are dismissed."

Chizuo and Sakubo nodded in assent to Kashira's orders. Then, after Sakubo had left, Chizuo turned to Kashira and nodded again, "Thank you Ninomiya-sama, I am in your debt yet again."

A slightly harsh look flickered across Kashira's face, but it was gone before Shizuka could really even register that it had happened at all. Kashira then shook his head, "Don't thank me just yet, Shizuka. If all goes according to plan, then, after this operation is over, I may grant your wish and make you a permanent member of the attack squad. But, enough chatter for now, Youichi is expecting you."

Chizuo nodded once more and turned to leave. As he was exiting, a small, triumphant smile ghosted across his lips. Now was the time that he would finally be able to get revenge on those damn Shinsengumi bastards for what they had done to his sister. And, along with his revenge, he would finally be rid of his position as a thief; this mission was starting to look better and better for Chizuo.

* * *

Hijikata felt oddly nervous, following Katsura and Elizabeth to the meeting place for Katsura's Joui group. The Shinsengumi vice-captain was pretty sure that, even though Katsura had said that this was a flower shop, there were sure to be nothing to do with flower in this place at all…it was probably more like a bomb factory, since bombs seemed to be Katsura's usual weapon of choice.

But, once the three entered the main room, Hijikata was flabbergasted to see that the guys there were actually doing stuff related to a flower shop. Everyone in the room was either arranging flowers or planting new ones in pots or tending to the flowers that were currently growing.

Blinking as if he couldn't believe his eyes, Hijikata turned to Katsura and whispered, "You were serious when you said this place was a flower shop? I thought you were just kidding…"

Katsura gave Hijikata a withering look, "Why in the world would I do that? To have an effective cover, one must make it as real as possible. Therefore, when we aren't running from you guys or playing UNO, we run this shop. It teaches members how to be responsible and productive in case they need to go into hiding for extended periods of time."

Hijikata really didn't know what to say to that, so he stood there in slightly shocked silence wondering how Katsura had come up with something that seemed so ridiculous and actually made a certain amount of sense at the same time…though, Hijikata didn't really understand what playing UNO had to do with anything involving Joui activities.

By the time Hijikata felt that he should commend Katsura from a surprisingly good idea, the long haired Joui leader had already turned away from him and was announcing, in a loud voice, "Everyone, today a new member is joining a our group or a period of time."

There was a collective murmur of greeting and then one person asked, "So, when did you take the recruitment exam? I don't remember seeing you there the last time Katsura-san held one."

Hijikata raised an eyebrow, wondering what whoever said that was talking about. He didn't quite remember about that time that they had Yamazaki infiltrate Katsura's gang and having to take a very weird exam that had altogether too many references to Jackie Chan's nose.

By the time Hijikata remembered, vaguely, about Katsura's entrance exam of sorts for his group, he realized that everyone was looking at him expectantly, waiting for Hijikata to give an answer. Hijikata then realized that he didn't have an answer; he was a terrible liar under pressure so anything he said would probably sound like an obvious lie.

But, luckily for the mayo-eating vice-captain, he didn't have to say anything as Katsura answered for him, "Actually, I've made an exception for my…acquaintance here. Because he's a friend of Gintoki's, I have decided to let him see what life is like here. And then, if he wants to take the exam later, he can."

There was another murmur in the crowd of assent and then someone else asked, "So, what's your name new guy?"

Hijikata's eyes widened a fraction; this was another thing he hadn't thought about at all. In the first place, he never thought he'd be staying with the man he was trying to arrest; frankly, he imagined that he would either be staying with Yorozuya and his lackeys or slumming it in the park with that sunglasses wearing homeless man Kagura had mentioned earlier. But, he really hadn't believed that Katsura would let him stay in his flower shop hideout; Hijikata being the one who was most adamant about arresting him and all.

But, thinking fast, Hijikata said, "…My name is Douhou Juushiro…"

There was a short pause and then someone else said, "That sounds a lot like Hijikata Toshiro. You're not being tricked again are you Katsura-san? Like that time with Shou-chan?"

Another member of Katsura's group added, "Yeah, this guy does look like that Hijikata bastard Katsura-san. Are you sure that Gintoki-san didn't mislead you because those Shinsengumi bastards bribed him with something sweet? As we've told you before, you really should be careful of that guy, he seems like he'd rat his friends out in a heartbeat for some ice cream."

"O-of course not!" Katsura yelled hastily, "Gintoki isn't like that at all! Sure he may look like the type who would sell out a former comrade for something sweet, but I guarantee that he'd be too lazy to do that! And I've made sure that Juushiro-kun here has nothing to with the Shinsengumi. I'm not that dumb! Tell them Juushiro-kun."

Hijikata groaned internally, this wasn't looking good. He now had to insult himself…which was never something he ever thought he'd have to do ever. This wasn't going to be easy, the only insults toward himself were the ones that Sougo shouted at him daily, and if he used those, he'd probably be caught…maybe…

Thinking on his feet again, Hijikata said in what he hoped was an indignant voice, "I'm nothing like that Hijikata bastard at all. Unfortunately, my name is written exactly like his, but he and I are completely different…I h-hate mayonnaise for one and I can't stand the smell of cigarettes, they make me sick…"

Hijikata didn't think that the people of Katsura's group would actually buy the excuses that he had just made. Only someone really oblivious would be able to ignore the fact that Hijikata had basically stumbled his way through half-assed insults about himself.

After a long silence, Hijikata was beginning to think that he should just walk out of the flower shop while he still had his dignity (as much dignity as a guy who was pretending to be someone else in a flower shop that belonged to the man he wanted to arrest could have anyway). Hopefully, Katsura's group would let him leave in peace, since he hadn't actually done anything wrong.

But then, someone said, "If what you say is true, then why don't we test you? If you can chug a whole container of mayonnaise and then smoke some cigarettes without gagging then we'll know that you are in fact Hijikata Toshiro and that Sakata Gintoki can no longer be trusted. But, if what you say is true and you hate mayonnaise and cigarettes then we'll welcome you with open arms."

Hijikata nodded, and replied confidently, "Fine, I will take you challenge. But I'm telling you, I hate mayonnaise so I won't be able to eat it."

And then, someone left to go buy a bottle of mayonnaise and a pack of cigarettes (since, apparently, Katsura's gang never kept cigarettes or mayonnaise on hand), Hijikata steeled himself for what was to come. It had been some hours since he had had either his precious mayo or some nicotine, so he was beginning to crave both. Despite Hijikata's earlier feigned confidence, he wasn't actually sure if he would be able to stop himself from chugging a whole bottle of mayonnaise and smoking the entire pack of cigarettes.

Slightly worried now that he would actually have to come up with a way to reject the food he loved so much, Hijikata began to think of something he hated more than anything else in order to pretend that the mayonnaise was that food and, therefore, not be able to eat it all. And, predictably, the food he chose was Yorozuya's disgusting (in Hijikata's mind) Uji-Gintoki bowl.

First, Hijikata imagined the color of the Azuki beans with the rice and how wrong it looked compared to the beautiful hue of rice and mayonnaise. Then the black haired man imagined Yorozuya forcing a large spoonful of that foul dish down his throat (and laughing sadistically as Hijikata gagged).

Then, beginning to gag for real a little, Hijikata imagined the Azuki becoming the color of his wonderful, delicious, perfect mayonnaise but still having that sickeningly sweet taste of Azuki. Feeling thoroughly nauseated by the thought of eating mayonnaise colored Azuki, Hijikata then began to actually feel sick, hoping that now he wouldn't be able to eat the mayonnaise that he loved so much.

And he was right, and unfortunately, his plan seemed to have worked too well. When the guy who had left earlier brought in the bottle of mayonnaise, Hijikata took a tentative first gulp (for lack of a better word), still thinking of the that awful Uji-Gintoki bowl, pulled an absolutely disgusted face and then proceeded to gag so fiercely that he was forced to spit the mayonnaise right back out before he couldn't believe anymore.

Then, before he could recover from the effect of the non-Azuki flavored mayo, he asked someone to light a cigarette for him (pretending that he couldn't do it for himself) and took a long, deep drag on it knowing that it wouldn't help his breathing problems at all.

Predictably, Hijikata began to choke even more on the smoke from the cigarette. After coughing for what seemed to Hijikata to be forever, he began to see stars flit across his vision. Then, he heard Katsura shout, "You see what you've done? If only you had believed Juushiro-kun in the first place none of this would have happened."

There was then a awkward pause until there was a quiet, collective apology. There was another pause in which Hijikata vaguely heard someone run out of the room and then come back moments later saying softly, "Good job, now they certainly won't expect that you are you after that performance. Hopefully, you won't abuse their trust or not even Gintoki will be able to save you from my anger."

A glass of water was then thrust into Hijikata's hands and the vice-captain drank it down greedily. Once he could actually see the world around him again, he glared at Katsura and replied in a harsh whisper, "I'm not gonna out your flower shop Katsura. If you're found out then I will be too. That's not something I need at the moment, so you and your gang are perfectly safe."

Katsura gave a small, almost imperceptible nod and then stood up and said in a stern voice, "Are you men happy now? All you've proved is that Juushiro-kun here can't eat mayonnaise and that smoking causes him to cough uncontrollably…"

Before Katsura could go on with his rant, the same guy who had proposed the test in the first place cut Katsura off with, "I'm sorry Douhou-san, for putting you through that. It's just that it's hard to know who to trust when the Shinsengumi seem particularly active in busting Joui activities lately."

Hijikata shook his head, still feeling slightly light headed, "It's fine," he rasped, "I understand the feeling of not being able to trust a comrade all too well…"

Before anyone could say anything else, Katsura changed the subject with, "So, now that your test is over, shall we play a game of UNO?"

Everyone nodded in agreement and then started gathering into a giant circle (I'm pretty sure that a game of UNO only allows for 4-7 people, but for simplicity's sake, I'm making it so that everyone can play, Katsura would probably do this anyway…maybe…).

Hijikata, not really knowing what was going on, joined the circle as well. It was only once he was dealt a set of cards did he say, slightly hesitantly, "Um…How do you play UNO?"

There was a collective gasp and then Katsura said, scandalized, "You don't know how to play UNO!? What kind of stuff were you doing at the…place you used to work?"

Ignoring Katsura's pause, Hijikata said matter-of-factly, "We played intellectual games like Shogi…sometimes…mostly we don't play games, don't have time for stuff like that…"

Katsura, still looking scandalized, said, "Then we must teach you how to play!"

After a lesson on the 'finer' points of the game UNO, Hijikata and the group of Joui rebels started a game of UNO. Hijikata found that he was much more into the game than he wanted to be. And, somehow, he actually managed to win…which was kinda weird to him. But, despite Katsura's constant boasting, the Joui leader was really bad at the game.

As Katsura practically stormed out of the room in a fit of silly rage, someone came up to Hijikata and patted him on the shoulder sympathetically, "Don't worry too much Douhou-kun, Katsura-san is always like this when he loses. He'll come back soon. He's like Whitney from the second generation Pokémon games." Hijikata wasn't sure whether or not that was a good thing…

**And that is the end of the chapter…I don't really have anything else to say at the moment so see you guys next week ^_^ as always, if you'd like leave a review I love to know what you guys think.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	6. Joui Patriots Don't Have Very Much Food

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. You haven't forgotten about me have you? Well, I haven't disappeared I'll have you know. It's just that I had finals and papers that I had to work on so I didn't really have time to update anything until now. But, now that finals are over (yay!) here's an update. Hope you enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

It had been a couple hours after the UNO game which Hijikata had won and he was just starting to feel comfortable with the group of Katsura's associates. He never imagined that he would ever be able to get along with a bunch of Joui patriots, but they really weren't as bad as he originally. Frankly, if he really thought about it, Katsura's group was a lot like the Shinsengumi in a way.

But, that wasn't something that Hijikata really wanted to acknowledge at the moment, so he pushed the thought to the back of his mind. He would only consider it again on one of his many sleepless nights when he was sure there was no one to read the thoughts on his face, like Sougo, who would have a field day if he knew that Hijikata had been thinking that the Shinsengumi and the Joui patriots they wanted to arrest were similar in any way.

Just as Hijikata had catalogued this thought for another time, one of Katsura's comrades said to him, "So, Douhou-kun, since you're new here we've decided that it's your turn to cook dinner tonight."

Hijikata, who's head had been resting in his hand felt his hand fall away in slight shock and managed to catch himself before his head slammed onto the table in front of him. Once he had recovered, he looked up at the guy and asked, "What do you mean it's my turn to cook dinner? Can't we just go out to dinner or something?"

The guy shrugged, "Well if that's what you want to do that's fine with us. But, I would imagine that you'd want to stay inside for the time being. You are on the run from the Shinsengumi are you not?"

Hijikata's eyebrows furrowed, had they found out who he was already, "What would make you think that?"

"Well…" the guy hesitated for a minute, "Since Katsura-san said that you were one of Gintoki-san's friends it seems like the obvious conclusion that you would be running from the Shinsengumi. I mean, why else would Gintoki-san ask that kind of favor from Katsura-san?"

Not liking where this conversation was going at all, Hijikata decided to move the conversation back to one that he wouldn't feel so uncomfortable about, "So, about dinner…what ingredients do you guys have on hand?"

The guy chuckled lightly, seeing that Hijikata clearly didn't want to talk about his relationship with the Shinsengumi at the moment, "Well, why don't we go to the kitchen and check it out. It has been a while since we've been to the grocery store so I'm not sure how much we have."

"Then why don't we just got to Ikumatsu-dono's?" Both Hijikata and Katsura's comrade turned around to see Katsura behind them, a small pout on his lips making Hijikata think that the Joui patriot leader was still sulking about losing to Hijikata in UNO.

"No," Katsura's comrade shook his head, "it's not your turn to choose where we eat dinner tonight. Besides, I'm sure Ikumatsu is sick of having so many wanted criminals in her restaurant. Once it's your turn again, we'll go to Ikumatsu's for sure."

Katsura's pout deepened slightly and he huffed, "Fine, have it your way. Let's not enjoy Ikumatsu-dono's Ramen tonight." And he slunk back out of the room.

Once Katsura was out of eyesight, Katsura's comrade sighed, "He can be a real handful sometimes. But, really, he's a good boss. You'll see, Douhou-kun. Well, shall we head to the kitchen?"

Hijikata chuckled softly, and nodded. As he followed the guy he thought, 'Well, at least I'm not the only one who finds him annoying.'

But, when the two arrived in the kitchen and Hijikata sighed, there was nothing that he would be able to use to make dinner, there was also the slightly major detail that Hijikata never cooked a day in his life, but that seemed insignificant compared to there not being food in the refrigerator.

Hijikata turned to his guide, whose name he still hadn't learned by the way, and said, "Well, I guess we could do as Katsura suggested and go to Ikumatsu's."

They guy pulled a face and shook his head again, "No thank you. We usually go there once a week, Katsura-san even more so since he always disappears around lunch time. As much as I like Ikumatsu's ramen, going there once a week is enough for me. Do you have any other ideas?"

Hijikata thought about it for a minute, "I guess we could always just go to a family restaurant or something."

The guy nodded, "Sure, why not. Family restaurants are probably a lot cheaper than any other option. Let's gather everyone and head out…you get the pleasure of getting Katsura-san, though since this was your idea after all."

Hijikata scowled, not really wanting to deal with the long-haired Joui patriot more than he had to, but nodded and walked over to the room saw Katsura retreat into earlier. As he was walking, he began wondering if Katsura was still sulking about having lost to Hijikata at UNO earlier.

And, the more Hijikata thought about it, the guiltier he felt about beating the long-haired Joui leader. Sure, he hadn't known how to play so it was probably just dumb luck that he had won at all, and now he was feeling guilty about it, and that was something that Hijikata didn't really like the feeling of…

Hijikata's thoughts about winning an UNO game were interrupted when Katsura asked him (Hijikata didn't actually remember entering the room, but oh well), "Is there something you want Douhou-kun?"

"Yeah," Hijikata started, taking a second to remember why he came here in the first place, "We've decided to go to a family restaurant for dinner. And I was sent to fetch you. Guess I've become your appointed gofer because I'm the new guy."

Katsura chuckled slightly at that, "No, I doubt that, we're not like you Shinsengumi after all and wouldn't do something like that."

Hijikata raised an eyebrow and put a finger to his lips, "Be quiet Katsura, do you want to give me up?"

Katsura rolled his eyes slightly at that, "Oh please, you know that they can't hear that. Besides, they wouldn't eavesdrop on my conversations when it's almost time for dinner."

"…wow," Hijikata said after a pause, "your subordinates don't listen in on your conversations? I'm amazed, if it were me, I would want to make sure my boss wasn't just screwing around. I guess that's the problem with having a gorilla for a boss after all."

It was now Katsura's turn to raise his eyebrow, "Are you calling me a gorilla Douhou-kun? If so, that isn't very nice."

"No," Hijikata deadpanned, "I wasn't referring to you. If anything, you're more like a peacock. Kondo-san's the gorilla for sure."

"And you can get away with calling with calling your leader a gorilla? I'm amazed, Douhou-kun. Somehow, I feel a pang of sympathy for the leader of you bastards now…"

Hijikata suddenly began feeling guilty again, so he changed the subject, "Well, everyone's probably gathered by now. Shall we head out ourselves?" Katsura nodded, and the two left the room to join the others for dinner.

As the two sort of enemies were exiting Katsura's room, the long-haired Joui leader commented offhandedly, "By the way, if you thought I was sulking over losing to you in UNO, you're wrong. I was just stayed here because this place needed cleaning. A proper Samurai must always keep his room spotless, who knows when a cleaning inspection will come around."

"Sure," Hijikata said, voice positively dripping with sarcasm, as he looked over to see a stack of UNO cards and a rulebook where Katsura had been earlier, "If you say so Katsura."

* * *

"What were you talking about with Kashira-sama, Chizuo?" Sakubo asked Shizuka (I feel like calling him by his real name now ^_^) when he closed the door to Kashira's office, more than a hint of irritation in her voice.

A reflexive flitted across Shizuka's features, but the tone of his voice sounded just a little bit annoyed with Sakubo's constant questioning, "Nothing important, Sakubo. And even if it was, why would it be any of your business?"

Sakubo pouted peevishly, "Everything having to do with Kashira-sama is my business! And if you don't tell me, I'm gonna make you regret it."

Shizuka, who had started walking toward his newly appointed training hall, stopped and glared slightly at Sakubo, "Will you stop this already? What have I done to you to make you dislike me so much? We are a part of the same organization aren't we?"

Sakubo gave Shizuka a pained look but said nothing. After a while, she yelled at him, "Will you just get to your post already? You know that Section Leader Youichi doesn't like to be kept waiting! You're such a disappointment to this group! Ever since you showed up here, you've been notIthing but trouble!"

Shizuka blinked at the sudden outburst, this wasn't very unusual for Sakubo, but it still surprised him when the rather short girl yelled at him. Pinching the bridge of his nose to try and stave off the headache that he could feel coming, he turned around and said, "Fine, I'll see you in a week then Sakubo."

As the blond man stalked off (I know I didn't mention this before, but our Shizuka-chan is blond ^_^), Sakubo looked after him, the slightly pained look returned to her face, "It's not that I don't like you Shizuka," she whispered, "but you're taking Ninomiya-sama's attention away from me and I'm jealous. If you weren't here, everything would be much easier for me…" and then the short girl turned around and started walking to the place Kashira had assigned her to go for this mission.

* * *

As Hijikata reentered the flower shop, he felt drained of energy. They had gone to his usual family restaurant and had to expend much more energy than he wanted to trying to get the staff to realize that he wasn't Hijikata Toshiro, but Douhou Juushiro. It had taken a lot more convincing than Hijikata had wanted.

At first, the guy who runs the place had seen him and immediately brought him his usual mayonnaise over rice. It had taken every ounce of strength in him not to gobble down the glorious mayonnaise laden rice. But in the end, he had to send it back, ask for something else, and claim, once again, that he hated mayonnaise with every fiber of his being…that was not very fun for the mayo-obsessed vice-captain.

At lease he wasn't forced to pay the bill for the entirety of Katsura's gang. Had he been with the Yorozuya, no doubt would they have made him pat (and had extra servings just to spite his wallet). But, at least that was one thing that he could add to the, ever growing, list of positive things about Katsura's gang (if you asked, he'd never admit that he was actually having a good time).

But, all the same, Hijikata was glad that the day was finally over and he could get some sleep. It had, after all, been a rather stressful day what with dealing with a sick Kondo-san, a sadistic Sougo, an even more sadistic Gintoki, and Katsura Kotaro.

But before he could fall asleep on the guest futon that had been laid out for him (apparently, most of Katsura's gang had homes that they could return to at night), Katsura called, beckoning him over with one hand, "Douhou-kun, I have something for you."

Hijikata raised an eyebrow, and then wandered over to Katsura, an inquisitive look on his face. Once he reached the room, Katsura pulled him inside and shut the door before Hijikata could say anything.

Hijikata, still perplexed by this interaction, opened his mouth to ask what Katsura was doing, when the long-haired Joui leader shoved two things into his hands, looking secretive, "I took these out of the trash for you after your 'test' was over for you."

Hijikata blinked in confusion and looked down at the objects that were now in his hands. It turns out that Katsura had saved the mayonnaise bottle, that Hijikata hadn't been able to finish, and the cigarette pack.

Hijikata was about to thank Katsura, when the long-haired man said, "Although I think that smoking is a filthy habit, I've heard that withdrawal isn't very fun. So, despite what Gintoki said about you not being able to smoke, you can. Just not when anyone is around to see. Same goes for the mayonnaise, though I don't know how you can eat that stuff…"

Hijikata looked up at Katsura and smiled for the first time since he had arrived here. Hijikata then took out one of the cigarettes and fished out the lighter he always kept on him. But as he was about to light the tobacco stick, Katsura gave him a look.

When Hijikata didn't seem to understand, Katsura said, "You can't smoke in here. I don't need my comrades thinking I'm into something so gross. Go outside or I'm taking them back."

Hijikata chuckled softly and went out onto the balcony near Katsura's room. The night breeze ruffling his hair, Hijikata lit his cigarette, thinking that Katsura wasn't such a bad guy after all.

**And that is the end of this chapter. Next chapter, we'll see how Toshiro does with his full day as a Joui patriot ^_^ well until next update then. As always, if you'd like leave a review, I love to know what you guys think.**

**-Murayama Tsuru**


	7. More Nightmares and Elizabeth's Signs

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Here's the 7****th**** chapter ^_^ The semester is now over so I have time to be lazy and write…maybe…I restarted Pokemon Heart Gold version a few days ago and that has taken up some of my time for the moment…anyway, here's the chapter I hope you enjoy ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

As Hijikata inhaled the tobacco smoke from the cigarettes he loved so much but probably wouldn't be able to have a good deal of in the foreseeable future, he reflected on how hectic his day had been, and how much more hectic it was about to become. As usual, Sougo decided to be the sadist he was and force him out of the Shinsengumi (even if that wasn't his intention). But, Yamazaki, that Badminton playing Anpan eating spy, had done something surprisingly not bland by telling Hijikata how to escape (even though Hijikata said that wasn't something he would do).

And then, of course, he ended up with the man who had caused him the third most amount of trouble over the years of Gintama (With Gintoki coming in first and Sougo coming in second). But, after spending a day with him and his gang of Joui patriots, Hijikata learned that they weren't such bad guys after all (that didn't mean that he wouldn't arrest all of them at a moment's notice, though, if the situation demanded).

Soon, Hijikata found that his cigarette had shrunk down to an unsmokable length, thus bringing tonight's musings to an end. But, as he looked for a place to put the tobacco stick out, he found nothing. Feeling slightly guilty (but tired enough not the really care at the moment) he dropped the smoldering cigarette to the ground and then stomped on it quickly so as not to burn Katsura's flower shop down.

Then, just to assuage any sort of guilt, Hijikata made sure to blow the ashes off the porch after making sure that they wouldn't reignite. The black-haired man then crept into Katsura's room and realized that he was exhausted (which wasn't too surprising considering the day he'd had).

Feeling too tired to try and find the bed the other Joui members had probably made up for him outside of Katsura's room, Hijikata practically collapsed on the floor, eyes drooping heavily as he landed. After a few seconds, the man was snoring softly.

This prompted a long-haired black man and a duck-penguin thing to sit up sleepily. The two looked at each other and Katsura said quietly, "What should we do about him Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth held up a sign that said, _Kick him out! His snoring is much too loud. At this rate, I won't get my beauty rest!_

Katsura clicked his tongue softly, "No, we can't do that…"

_Why not? _Read Elizabeth's next sign

Katsura gave his companion a look, "You know perfectly well why not. We don't need to give him another reason to want to arrest us. He may not be capable of doing that at the moment, but as soon as whatever he's going through blows over, we're back to being enemies. Let's not give him any reason to want to arrest any of us sooner than that."

There was a pause in which Elizabeth and Katsura seemed to be having a staring contest of sorts. After a minute, something caved and Elizabeth wrote another sign that said, _You win Katsura-san. Do what you want. But, I'm blaming you if you I don't get the proper amount of sleep tonight,_

Katsura chuckled lightly then stood up and went over to the closet. After a minute, Katsura came back with a blanket and put it on Hijikata. The vice-captain stirred slightly as the blanket settled over him, but he didn't wake up fully.

Katsura then wandered back over to his Futon and whispered sleepily, "Sleep well Shinsengumi bastard-san." Then, after a while, the room was filled with the sound of three different snores.

* * *

_Hijikata watched as Namakura slumped to the ground, a trickle of blood leaking out of his mouth, the light fading from his eyes. Even though the man was dead, his head turned upward to meet Hijikata's horrified face, a dark glare appearing in his dead eyes and said, "Fukucho, why did you let this happen? Why weren't you paying more attention to your sword?"_

_A look of pain flashed across Hijikata's gaze, "I didn't mean for him to take my sword…it just happened."_

"_If only you had been at HQ, this wouldn't have happened at all! That man wouldn't have escaped and I would still be among the living."_

"…_I know," Hijikata agreed, bowing his head in apology and regret, "I should have come back from that meeting with Matsudaira-Tocchan faster. If Kondo-san hadn't been sick, none of this would have happened in the first place."_

_Namakura's glare intensified, "No, you can't blame this one on Kondo-san. All this was your fault entirely, Hijikata!"_

_Before Hijikata could respond, another voice said, "He's right you know, if only you defeated me your comrade wouldn't be dead and you wouldn't be holed up with those Joui patriots."_

_Hijikata looked up to see the Sugegasa man starting down at him from the rooftop he had escaped from, those piercing blue eyes boring straight through to Hijikata's soul. The two seemed to stand there, glaring at each other for what seemed like an eternity._

_And then, suddenly, the man leapt down from the roof and landed in front of him. Hijikata didn't know how it happened, but he had once again drawn his sword and was charging at the man. Just as suddenly, though, he jolted to a stop as a sharp pain pierced his belly._

_Hijikata looked down to see that there was now a sword poking through his stomach, blood dripping sickeningly from the blade. He turned to see that Namakura had somehow gotten up and stabbed him with his sword._

_Frozen where he stood, the only words that bubbled out of Hijikata's mouth were, "Namakura…why…?"_

"_Because," Hijikata's dead comrade said simply, "it's your fault that this happened to me in the first place, so I'm just repaying the favor now."_

_Hijikata stared blankly at Namakura in shock, unable to form a response. But just as a reply to his dead comrade's betrayal began to form on Hijikata's lips, the Sugegasa man took Hijikata's sword from him once again and sneered, "It's time for you to pay for the trouble you have cause us Hijikata Toshiro!"_

_The Sugegasa man then lifted Hijikata's sword above his head and let it drop in a slow, deadly arc towards Hijikata's neck…_Hijikata jolted upright, not having shaken the nightmare completely, but realizing that he wasn't actually about to be beheaded by the Sugegasa man.

The vice-captain then began to wake up to the sound of birds chirping happily, the sunlight streaming in through the window that Hijikata hadn't noticed was in Katsura's room yesterday. The flower shop was relatively quiet this morning, which seemed different from the afternoon before when the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi had arrived.

Unlike the peaceful morning though, Hijikata was breathing hard, and he was sweating profusely; this was the second night in a row that he had woken up from a ghastly nightmare. Breathing not slowing even a little, his hand came up reflexively to his neck to see if it was still attached to his body.

Only once he felt that everything was in its right place did his breathing begin to slow to their normal speed. As the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi sat there, he realized that the flower shop now seemed too quiet. Even at the Shinsengumi, had everyone tried to be quiet, there would still be sounds of people walking about and doing things that made noise, no matter how small.

Feeling confident that he could stand and not hug the walls for support, Hijikata did so and wandered out of Katsura's room to investigate where everyone was. As he wandered the flower shop, his suspicions were concerned when he didn't find anyone milling around, playing UNO.

But, when Hijikata's stomach growled fiercely and loudly, he stopped caring about where the Joui patriots were (for the moment anyways) and decided that breakfast was the order of the present. And, since no one was around, Hijikata could use as much mayonnaise as he wanted!

But, as Hijikata wandered into the kitchen, he noticed a familiar duck-penguin thing waiting for him, arms crossed, looking mildly annoyed (maybe, Hijikata couldn't really tell since Elizabeth's emotions didn't really come through the costume).

When Hijikata acknowledged Elizabeth's presence, the duck-penguin thing nodded in return and pushed a plate with a tall stack of pancakes (that seemed to come from thin air) toward him and held up a sign that said, _Here, eat, Katsura-san made sure that there were some left over for you. I would have eaten them myself, but Katsura-san insisted that you get some._

Despite not knowing where, exactly, the pancakes came from (and not really wanting to dwell on the subject for very long), Hijikata nodded gratefully to Elizabeth and started eating, forgetting at first that since it was only Elizabeth he could still put mayonnaise on his pancakes. It was only until Hijikata had eaten about half the pancakes that he realized that he could put his precious mayo on them and did so, liberally.

Once Hijikata had finished his meal, he looked over to Elizabeth, who had a, maybe, disgusted look on 'her' face and a sign that read, _How the hell can you eat all the mayonnaise? It's so gross that watching you eat it makes me want to vomit! Why can't you be normal and not put mayonnaise on pancakes? Only you would do something so weird…_

Hijikata made a small noise of discontent that his beloved mayo was being insulted, but instead decided to ask the question that had been on his mind since he had all but forgotten his nightmare, "Where's everyone else?"

_Why should I tell you? Despite being on the run, you're still a member of the Shinsengumi. What guarantee do I have that if I tell where Katsura-san and the others are you won't go out and arrest them?_ Read Elizabeth's next sign.

Hijikata sighed, "It's precisely because I'm on the run from the Shinsengumi that I won't arrest your friends. What would be the point of going on the lam if I were to out myself right away?"

There was a pause, as if Elizabeth was trying to find some flaw in what Hijikata had just said. Not being able to find one, though, Elizabeth produced a note from somewhere (probably the same place the pancakes were hiding) and slid it to Hijikata's side of the table.

Hijikata took a look at it and frowned slightly. It was written in what was probably Katsura's handwriting; _Douhou-kun, sorry to just leave you a note, but you seemed to be sleeping so peacefully. We have gone out to participate in the annual Joui UNO tournament. We shall be back later, victorious of course, so you have the run of the house while we're gone. But, just so you stay out of trouble, Elizabeth will be staying to watch over you._

Once Hijikata had finished reading the note, his frown had become a scowl; he looked at Elizabeth, and with barely controlled annoyance said, his voice strained, "They left to go play an UNO tournament? What kind of Joui patriots are you? I thought you guys liked to blow things up and do things that terrorists actually do. Not go gallivanting around, running flower shows, and participating in UNO tournaments! You guys are much too lax to call yourselves Joui patriots!"

As Hijikata finished speaking, his voice had escalated to a loud growl. But, when Hijikata was done ranting, there was only silence. Hijikata was about to start yelling at Elizabeth about how it was rude not to respond to someone when they were insulting what their organization was doing when he saw something that made him pause.

Elizabeth seemed to be shaking with quiet laughter. In fact, if Hijikata listened hard enough, he could actually hear the duck-penguin thing chuckling softly. Irritated that all he got for his lecture was a chuckled from an old man in a duck costume, Hijikata growled, "What's so funny?"

Immediately, Elizabeth composed herself and wrote a sign that said, _Nothing is 'funny' exactly. But, it's just that, you always seem so adamant to arrest us; and yet, here you are lecturing on how to be a better terrorist. Isn't that just a little hypocritical?_

"N-no…"Hijikata said awkwardly, face beginning to feel hot, regretting having said anything in the first place, "It's not hypocritical at all! I just think that Joui patriots should act like the terrorists that they make themselves out to be, not playing UNO or obsessing over some lady's Ramen shop…that's all…"

There was another silence that made Hijikata's face feel like it was going to burn off; if only he could just keep his mouth closed when it came to how Joui patriots acted (though, this had never really been a problem before…)

But then, just as the silence was becoming unbearable for Hijikata, Elizabeth smacked him on the head with a sign, making the vice-captain glare at duck-penguin thing angrily, rubbing the back of his head gingerly.

But, the contents of Elizabeth's latest sign made Hijikata's glare soften a little, _Oh c'mon, quit moping. Katsura said that we have the run of the house while they're out. Let's have some fun without them and make them regret leaving us here._

**And that is the end of this chapter ^_^ I hope you guys enjoyed it…aaand I've run out of things to say…As always if you want please leave a review, I love to know what you guys think. See you guys next week then guys…maybe…**

**-****村山鶴 ****(decided to try something different this time ^_^)**


	8. Cleaning Flower Shops is Hard Work

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. As of last Thursday, I have reached the age of twenty! That means that I'm still too young to drink alcohol (not that I really wanted to in the first place), but too old to call myself a teenager anymore ^_^ these are the words of wisdom that my cousin told to me on that day. With that, here's the chapter. I hope it's good ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei…and he did not give me Gintama as a present for my birthday…though I wish he did…**_

As Katsura and the rest of his gang, minus Elizabeth and Hijikata of course, returned to his flower shop hideout, Katsura couldn't keep the grin off his face; they hadn't actually won the UNO tournament, but they got a large trophy for winning third so Katsura was ecstatic about that.

As everyone entered the hideout, Katsura hoisted the trophy above his head and shouted happily, eyes closed in his glee, "Douhou-kun, Elizabeth, we return victorious from the UNO tournament! I'm sure, though, if you two had been there we would have taken first instead of third!"

But, to Katsura's surprise, there was not answer to his declaration of happiness. Confused, and slightly miffed that his (and everyone else's) victory. As Katsura's eyes opened to see why neither Elizabeth nor the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi were answering him, though, his was met with the sight of what looked to be the aftermath of a small tornado.

There were broken flower pots, food wrappers, and manga magazines littered everywhere, it reminded Katsura of Gintoki's room (without the flowerpots, but still). As Katsura surveyed the damage that had merbeen done, his eyes landed on Hijikata and Elizabeth facing away from each other, holding various cleaning implements, looking pretty guilty at the state of this secret base.

Katsura then put the trophy down calmly and asked the two people who had been left behind, a hint of strain in his voice, "What happened here you two?"

Between Hijikata's mumblings and Elizabeth's signs, Katsura had absolutely no idea what had happened while he and the others were out for the day at the UNO tournament. After a few more confusing moments, Katsura put a hand out and said, "Stop both of you. I only need one of you to tell me what happened. Play rock paper scissors to see who will do it."

The vice-captain of the Shinsengumi gave Katsura a look that seemed to say, 'You're kidding right? There's no way in hell that I'm going to stoop to doing something as stupid as rock paper scissors.'

But, as Elizabeth started preparing for the fierce battle to come, Hijikata rolled his eyes in exasperation and turned to face Elizabeth after giving Katsura one last glare. Katsura chuckled slightly to himself; he imagined that Hijikata would be more likely to just let Elizabeth explain than actually play the game of rock paper scissors like Katsura asked.

The two then faced each other and a hush swept over the room. As Elizabeth and Hijikata pounded their fists against their open palms, the tension rose in the room and everyone's attention was riveted to the two's movements.

Just when they were going to show their signs, everything seemed to go into slow motion. A drum seemed to roll somewhere as Elizabeth's and Hijikata's hands descended for the final time. Everyone, including Katsura moved just a little closer as the final slap happened…

"How the hell did I lose to a guy who doesn't even have hands?" Hijikata growled after a minute, releasing the tension that had filled the world. Even Katsura let out a breath he didn't realize that he'd been holding, he had been almost afraid that Elizabeth lost this battle

After another moment, everyone started laughing making the mood of the room relax even more. Eventually, someone said, "No one can beat Elizabeth when it comes to rock paper scissors. We always underestimate her and end up losing. It seems you're the same as everyone else, Juushiro-kun."

Hijikata scowled slightly, "Well of course you'd underestimate this guy, he had no hands! How in the world can a flipper make the sign for scissors?!"

Elizabeth turned toward Hijikata, an angry look in her eye and a sign ready to smack him. But before this could happen, Katsura interrupted with, "So, Elizabeth, what happened while we were away?"

There was a pause then, and while no one else could tell, probably, Katsura thought Elizabeth seemed nervous about what happened. Eventually, she put up a sign that read: _…We were playing a game of Joui Shishi and Shinsengumi and it got out of hand…that's all…sorry Katsura-san, we didn't mean for this to happen…"_

Katsura sighed good naturedly, Elizabeth could never do any harm in his eyes. But, before Katsura could say that everything was alright and that Elizabeth wasn't at fault, Hijikata snorted, making everyone's eyes turn to the black-haired Shinsengumi member incognito.

Once Hijikata realized that everyone was looking at him to see why he had snorted, Hijikata rolled his eyes and said, "That duck-penguin dude is lying. He was the one who instigated the game and did most of the breaking. I spent most of the time trying to defend myself from…it…"

There was a pregnant pause; no one had ever contradicted Elizabeth before (other than Gintoki, who did stuff like that to everyone). Elizabeth then brought up another sign that read: _That's not true at all _Douhou-kun_, you broke just as many flower pots and threw just as many magazines as I did. Before you start blaming me, just remember, I know your secret ^_^_

There was another pause, in which Hijikata and Elizabeth stared each other down. There was something deeper that the others could sense was going between Katsura's favorite and the new guy. But no one (except Katsura) who actually knew what that something was.

Eventually, before the air could start crackling with the tension between Hijikata and Elizabeth, Katsura said, a strained smile on his face, "Well, whatever happened it's time to clean all this up. After all, a good Samurai knows that keeping one's living space is always a must. So, let's get started."

There was a collective groan of annoyance then; the rest of Katsura's group was annoyed that they had to help clean up Douhou's and Elizabeth's mess. But, Katsura help up a hand, stopping all complaints, "I know that we didn't make the mess, but everyone needs to help clean up. If we don't learn teamwork here, then we won't be able to work together in the field to fend off the Shinsengumi."

There was a moment in which everyone seemed to have a light bulb go off in their heads. Then, there was a murmur of agreement that they should all practice teamwork so that if they had to fight off the Shinsengumi they wouldn't be a disorganized mess.

Hijikata watched this moment with a slightly raised eyebrow. He was amazed that Katsura had the power to change everyone's minds on something so simple as cleaning. It reminded him, once again that Katsura really would be a threat should he choose to become a real terrorist instead of the goofhead he seemed to be in person.

Then, jolted out of his musings, Hijikata realized that people were actually starting to clean. So, as to not look too out of place, Hijikata began to continue the cleaning he had started before everyone else returned from their ridiculous UNO tournament. Really, what kind of terrorists competed in an UNO tournament? It boggled Hijikata's mind; but this was Gintama so questioning it probably wouldn't do any good at all.

* * *

As Katsura's gang and Hijikata were cleaning the secret flower show base, our as of yet still unidentified other Joui group was preparing for their assault in the sewers of Edo in six days. Shizuka, finished with training for the day exited the room to see Kashira waiting for him.

Shizuka noticed that Kashira had a trophy in his hands so he said, "I take it you won the UNO tournament Kashira? Good job, I'm sure it was a piece of cake, though."

Kashira smirked slightly, and said, "Why, yes, it was extremely easy. I always make sure to win this particular tournament as I find almost no satisfaction in losing to those fools who call themselves Joui Shishi. Frankly, I don't know why we must participate in something so laughable, but it is good to be seen by the other Joui Shishi groups, so I must go every year."

Shizuka smiled at that, "I believe that Katsura Kotaro instigated that particular event. It's strange, but everyone seems to respect that man…"

"As they should, Chizuo," Kashira cut Shizuka off, "he was a war hero in the Joui Sensou after all. He and Takasugi are some of the more public remnants of that era. Speaking of Katsura, I would like you to go to him tomorrow and ask his help in our plan."

Slightly confused, Shizuka asked the first thing that came to mind, "Why? I was under the impression that you didn't like the guy very much."

There was a pause and a look which made Shizuka flinch and almost had him regretting what he had just said. Just as Shizuka was about to apologize, Kashira said, a hard edge creeping into his voice, "As I said, Katsura Kotaro is a man worth respecting, even though he comes off as ridiculous. And tomorrow, you will go to him to ask for help, understand?"

"Yes," Shizuka said, little emotion in his voice, "I understand. I will go see Katsura tomorrow Kashira-sama."

There was a slight eyebrow twitch from Kashira, "Are you mad at me Shizuka?"

Shizuka looked up at his boss confused, "No, I'm not mad…"

"That's good then." Kashira cut Shizuka off mid-sentence after hearing what he had wanted to from his subordinate, "It's not like you to shut down on me like that. I don't like to rule through fear, as they say, but it seems that that is what I have been doing with you lately. You are new to this organization though, so you haven't quite learned when to hold your tongue."

Shizuka pressed his lips together and said nothing, understanding that his was probably one of the times that he should 'hold his tongue' as Kashira suggested. Kashira didn't realize, after all, the he very much ruled through fear. Even though his followers loved him very much, his reputation was hardly vanilla. But then again, it was that very same reputation that was the reason that Shizuka had chosen this particular Joui group as opposed to Katsura's (which he heard was a lot of fun).

After a minute, Shizuka found his voice again, "Again, Kashira, congratulations on winning the UNO tournament. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must got take a shower. Yoichi is a slave-driver when it comes to training."

And, without waiting for a response or a dismissal from Kashira, Shizuka walked toward the showers. As the young blond man was walking away, Kashira sighed slightly, thinking something that didn't show on his face at all.

While he was thinking, Sakubo came up to him, saw the trophy and said, "Congratulations Kashira-sama, you won the tournament!"

Kashira then turned to Sakubo, an unreadable smile on his face, "Yes, I did indeed Sakubo. Thank you for noticing."

* * *

That night, after all the cleaning had been finished, Hijikata flopped down onto his futon. It had been much harder than he had expected to clean a shop, even with everyone pitching in. Had this been the Shinsengumi, it would have probably just been him and Yamazaki doing the cleaning; as Sougo would flat out refuse to help (or help at a very steep price) and the others (including Kondo) were too inept at cleaning to be of much help at all.

Hijikata tch'ed in slight annoyance, he realized that he was doing it again. Ever since he had arrived here yesterday, Hijikata realized that he'd been comparing the Shinsengumi and Katsura's organization altogether too much. Sure, Katsura seemed to be a good leader and his comrades were a very close-knit group. But, so was the Shinsengumi…sometimes…

But, just because Sougo didn't seem like a very loyal person didn't mean that he wasn't! And just because Katsura's group made Hijikata feel welcome didn't mean that they were better than the Shinsengumi! If anything, if meant that Katsura was even more of a threat than he and everyone else in the Shinsengumi had imagined.

As Hijikata berated himself further for even thinking that Katsura's group might be better, even by a little bit, than the Shinsengumi he drifted off into sleep. This night, though, he was lucky, as he didn't have nightmares about men in Sugegasa or dead comrades coming back to life.

The next morning, at around, three AM, Hijikata was jostled awake by a pair of rough hands. Even though Hijikata was used to waking up pretty early, being woken up by an invisible assailant was not something Hijikata liked at all. Groggy, and pissed that he had been woken up, he spat, "What the hell do you want? It's way too early for this…"

Realizing where he was, finally, Hijikata trailed off before he said something along the lines of 'If Kondo-san is out with that gorilla woman again, leave them be, it can certainly wait until later. What he does is his business after all.'

After a minute, a voice that sounded vaguely familiar replied, "Get dressed Douhou, it's time for your first task as a Joui Shishi."

That woke Hijikata up instantly; the thought that passed through his head as whoever had woken up left, 'What the hell are these fools doing at three in the morning?'

**And that is the end of this chapter. Next chapter, will get to see what Katsura and his gang do at three in the morning. And possibly, our Sugegasa man, Shizuka-kun will come knocking at Katsura's door. So, with nothing else to say, I bid you goodbye. As always, if you'd like please leave a review, I love to know what you guys think ^_^ until next time guys.**

**-****村山鶴**


	9. Early Morning Concerts are Pretty Weird

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Here is the 9****th**** chapter, I hope you enjoy it ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

Even though Hijikata had been awake a little while ago, he was now practically falling asleep. After he had been viciously woken up, he had been herded into a large car along with everyone else. Once the car started moving, Hijikata felt the adrenaline from being told that he was going to do his first task as a Joui Shishi wear off, leaving only sleepy grogginess.

So, Hijikata decided to fall back to sleep since wherever they were going didn't seem to be very close. But, just as Hijikata felt sleep trying to claim him, the car jerked to a harsh stop, making the sleepiness leave him.

With a groan, Hijikata finally asked, wishing that he was still asleep, dreaming away, "So, what are we doing here so early?"

Hijikata was met with silence for a moment, and he thought for a moment that the other members didn't remember that he had only 'joined' Katsura's group a little while ago. Eventually, as the door opened and people started filing out, Katsura turned to him with a grin, "We are going to hold a concert today."

Hijikata blinked, wondering if he had heard correctly, "You're going to have a what?"

Katsura sighed dramatically, "We are holding our annual, early morning concert today."

Hijikata blinked again, "Yeah, I guess I heard you the first time, but why are you guys holding a concert?"

"Because," Katsura said with a flourish, "we sing songs promoting our Joui message, and it is a good way to make some money that we need."

"But," Hijikata asked, rubbing the last of the sleep out of his eyes, "do many people come to a concert that's being held so early in the morning?"

Katsura chuckled at that, "You'd be surprised, 'Douhou-kun', there are lots of people who want to hear our message. Also, since it's early in the morning, the Shinsengumi are conveniently absent, so people don't have to fear being arrested by you guys."

Hijikata nodded appreciatively, thinking, once again, that Katsura actually seemed to be a pretty smart guy, "So, what do you want me to do for your concert?"

Katsura looked mildly surprised that Hijikata actually seemed to be willing to help with the concert, "Well, since you are the new guy, we don't actually have anything specific for you to do at the moment. But, for now, you can just wander around and see if anyone needs any help. And then, once the concert starts, you can be a part of the security."

"Oh yay," Hijikata drawled, "I get to be security. You're trying to get me found out, aren't you?"

Katsura gave Hijikata a questioning look, "What are you talking about? Security is a very important job. You may not believe me, but some of our members are very popular and some have crazed fans, even. I don't see how you being security would out you as a member of the Shinsengumi, much less the Vice-captain."

Hijikata sighed, "If you haven't noticed, the Shinsengumi does a lot of security work. And, if there is something that I have to do that shows off my skills as a sword fighter, your men might get suspicious, don't you think?"

Katsura gave the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi and shook his head, "Ah, Douhou-kun, this is why we don't like the Shinsengumi; they are the total opposite of humble. That and they always seem to want to thwart out plans. You really must know, you are not the only person who is good at using a sword here in Edo. If there is a problem, you will not be the only one solving it, I'm sure. So no, I don't believe there is a problem putting you on security detail."

Hijikata looked like he wanted to say something else, but before he could; someone poked their head into the car and said, "Katsura-san, they need you out there, something about what prizes to give out at the raffle."

Katsura clicked his tongue in annoyance. Hijikata, thinking that Katsura was still made at him for not wanting to take the security job was about to say that he didn't mind being security when Katsura said, "I thought we agreed that we would give something that Elizabeth signed to everyone who won."

The other guy shrugged, "Well, you'll have to talk to them about that. Elizabeth-san is saying that she won't degrade herself by signing something for anyone; even if it is for raising money."

Katsura made another annoyed noise and then left the car saying, "Well, we talked about this earlier, I don't know what the problem is…"

Hijikata watched, slightly annoyed that he had been ignored at the end, as Katsura and the other guy left the car to go set up for the concert. It really didn't make any sense to Hijikata that they'd try to raise money by holding a concert. If it had been him in Katsura's position, Hijikata was sure that he'd resort to more terrorist-y means of acquiring money; like robbing a bank or kidnapping a high-ranking person and demanding ransom or stealing money from a rich Amanto at sword point. Y'know, things Hijikata would feel obligated to arrest the group for.

But, that clearly wasn't going to happen at the moment, as Katsura decided that he wanted to throw a concert instead. With a sigh, Hijikata stood up and left the car himself, it was time to see who needed help at the moment.

As it turns out, Katsura's group didn't seem to need any help with anything at all. Hijikata thought that it was a good indication that Katsura's gang could be a threat if it chose to be since they all seemed to be able to work together very well. But still, despite their teamwork, Hijikata had nothing to do and was, therefore bored out of his mind.

Because he had absolutely nothing to do, he took to wandering around again, supervising what everyone was doing to make sure everyone was doing their job (something he probably would have done at the Shinsengumi, if he wasn't so busy covering for Sougo's lack of ambition all the time).

Eventually, he was told to sit down somewhere away from where everyone was working because it was distracting everyone else to have two supervisors, Katsura and himself. Annoyed, Hijikata demanded that they give him something to do, lest he loose his mind.

So, they put him to work helping get the stage ready. Since the concert was being held outside, Hijikata imagined that they would be building a makeshift stage for the performance, but he was wrong. In the park the concert was going to be held at, there was a sort of raised area already and the only work that needed to be done was putting up a curtain, and making sure that it would balance on the nearby trees, and setting up the lighting.

Hijikata had, at first, imagined that this would be an easy task. Again, he was wrong. It turns out that he was so bad at helping set up the stage that he was, once again, told to go somewhere else and just wait for the concert to start.

Feeling annoyed, Hijikata wandered away from the busy Joui Shishi and under a tree. He sat down, hoping to clean his Katana or something else productive when it hit him that he could actually go to sleep now (for a little while at least).

And that is exactly what he did (even though he was loath to shirking duties, even ones that he didn't want to do in the first place), he put his Katana in an easily accessible place and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come to claim him again, if only for a little while.

And it seemed to have worked too, because after what seemed to be five seconds later, he was being shaken awake again as someone said it was time for the concert to begin. Once again, Hijikata fought sleep off him and with bleary eyes made his way to where someone directed him.

Once Hijikata was awake enough, he noticed that there were, indeed, a lot of people in the seats that he hadn't noticed being put up. With more begrudging respect, Hijikata gave Katsura another point for being right about people not wanting to get caught by the Shinsengumi by going to a concert performed by a notorious Joui group early in the morning.

As Hijikata stood guard (even though there didn't seem to be any problems, a Shinsengumi must always do his duty after all), he thought that it would be necessary to tell Kondo-san that they should probably start patrolling Edo earlier in the morning from now on, who knew what the Joui Shishi would try to get away with next after all.

Soon enough the concert was over and everyone began taking everything down and packing everything back into the car. When everything was cleaned up and all the lingering guests were gone, Katsura's group returned to the large car and back to the flower shop base, commenting on how great a success this concert was.

Once they were back at the flower shop, Hijikata noticed someone standing outside the entrance, looking impatient. As Hijikata stepped out of the car and got a better look at the person, a jolt of recognition went through him; it was the Sugegasa man, without his hat of course, Hijikata would recognize those eyes anywhere.

Fearing that if the man spotted him, the Sugegasa man would recognize him as well, Hijikata hung back, hoping that he would find a way to sneak past him once the crowd had thinned out some…in hindsight, though, that might not have been such a good idea as crowds were usually good for sneaking past people you didn't want to see you…

Noticing that Hijikata wasn't going back into base right away, Katsura walked up behind him and said, making the poor man jump a mile, "What's wrong Douhou-kun? Is there something on your mind?"

After realizing that it was just Katsura behind him and not someone trying to kill him, Hijikata turned to the Joui leader and whispered, gesticulating to the man near the entrance, "That's the guy who killed my comrade and forced me to flee here (though that last part was really Sougo)."

Katsura nodded in understanding, "I understand. You want to get by him without him realizing that you are you, yes?"

Hijikata nodded and Katsura returned to the truck for a second. When the long-haired Joui leader returned, Hijikata's heart sank; he was carrying a large, fluffy black wig and a pair of dark sunglasses in his hands with an expectant look in his eyes.

Hijikata looked like he wanted to protest that he would never wear something as ridiculous as a fake afro and weird sunglasses, Katsura forced them upon him with a smile and a whisper, "But I also imagine, 'Douhou-kun' that you want to learn of this man's plans as well. So, I suggest that you put these on so you can."

Hijikata gave Katsura a glare both for making him wear something so ridiculous and because the Joui leader had correctly guessed his plans. But, he acquiesced to wearing the quick disguise and then followed Katsura over to where the person was waiting, tapping his foot with impatience.

Once the two arrived, Katsura said, "Hello, is there something you need? If it's flowers, you've come to the right place. If you'll just give us a few minutes we'll be open for business."

The Sugegasa man shook his head and said, "No, I didn't come here for flowers. I came here to—"

Eyebrows raised in mock surprise, interrupted the guy, "You're not here for flowers? Then whatever else could you have come here for, we only run a simple flower shop here after all."

The Sugegasa man let out an impatient noise, "If you had let me finish, you would know what I wanted. My name is Abe Shizuka and I have come here to ask a favor for my boss, Ninomiya Ankoku-sama."

At that, Katsura's eyes narrowed slightly, "Whatever Ninomiya-san wants, I'm sure he knows that I am not the kind of person who will go along with his plans. I may be a Joui Shishi, but I am not going to harm the citizens of Edo with whatever scheme he has in store this time. "

"But, Katsura-san" Shizuka protested, looking slightly desperate to Hijikata, "Ninomiya-sama requested you specifically. Knowing your dislike of the Shinsengumi, he thought that you'd be happy—"

"I'm sorry," Hijikata interrupted, trying to disguise his voice as much as he could, thinking that this conversation would just turn into an argument that would end in his cover being blown, Hijikata said in surly voice, "Katsura-san has indicated that he was not interested in hearing what you had to say at this point in time. If you'll excuse us, it's time that we opened our flower shop. Maybe you should come back later, he would be more amenable."

Before Shizuka could say anything else, Hijikata marched Katsura into the flower shop and shut the door in the Sugegasa man's face. He then turned to Katsura and asked, "Who are those people? And what did they want?"

Katsura gave Hijikata a look, "If you hadn't forced me inside, we would have learned what they wanted, you know."

"So?" Hijikata growled, "That still doesn't answer the question of who they are. If I know that, maybe I'll let you go back out there and pretend to accept whatever that boy is offering."

Katsura's look didn't disappear, "Who said I would accept whether you allowed me to or not?" But at Hijikata's glare, Katsura relented, "Fine, I'll tell you about Ninomiya Ankoku and his group."

**And that is the end of this chapter. Now we know the name of our main bad guy, Ninomiya Ankoku. The name Kashira means boss, so that's why everyone in his group calls him that. Next time, we shall learn why Katsura doesn't like this guy ^_^ so until next week then. As always, if you'd like, leave a review, I love to know what you guys think.**

**-****村山鶴**


	10. Explanations From Two Sides

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I present to you the 10****th**** chapter ^_^ I always like reaching the number 10, it's a nice feeling to know that I have enough ideas to continue a story into the double digits. So, without too much more ado about how I love the number ten in stories, here's the chapter. I hope you guys enjoy ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei!**_

"So?" Hijikata asked, once it was apparent the Katsura wasn't going to start his story any time soon, "who is this 'Ninomiya Ankoku' person?"

Katsura sighed, "You don't have any flair for the dramatic do you? I was just pausing for effect; I'll get to the explanations you want when I'm ready."

Hijikata gave Katsura a look, "Yeah, well I doubt we have a lot of time before the guy who killed Namakura goes back to this 'Ninomiya' guy and tells him that you rejected his offer."

Katsura sighed again and ignored the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi's look, "Fine, fine, I'll tell you. You're such a spoil sport."

"And that would be how I made it to vice-captain. The Shinsengumi doesn't usually have time to mess around and not tell other people the information they need to know."

And with one last annoyed look from Katsura and another prompting look from Hijikata, the long haired Joui leader started his story, "Ninomiya Ankoku used to be in this group, before I decided that blowing everything up wasn't the way to bring positive change in Edo, that is. I really should have known then that he was going to be trouble. Out of all of us at the time, Ninomiya Ankoku seemed the most prone to violent outbursts. And that especially true for when I told my group that we were going to change our ways. He, for lack of a more eloquent way of saying it, threw a tantrum, and quit; swearing that we'd regret the day we let him go. And then, a few weeks later, we heard that he had formed a group of his own, that was much more militant than ours. And yet, they also did not get along with Takasugi's Kiheitai because Takasugi seems to want to use the Amanto while Ninomiya Ankoku wants to expel them and the corrupt Bakufu who let them in."

"So? What does that have to do with anything? If he split with you then why is he trying to get you guys to go with whatever he's planning now?" Hijikata asked, not really seeing the point of this explanation, even though he had been the one to ask for it.

"I don't know about what he's planning now," Katsura responded with a shrug, "but I think he wants us to help him to try and make us 'remember' how we used to operate."

"But why? Why does he care?" Hijikata asked

"Because," Katsura responded with a frown, "he's a one step short of a prince who is used to always getting his way. I imagine he thinks that we miss the funds he used to supply us with so he thinks that if we join with him this time we'll go back to him for his money. Also, I'm sure he wants us to think we made a mistake in 'allowing' him to quit all that time ago."

"Ok, so he's a spoiled brat? What does he have against the Shinsengumi?" Hijikata asked, still only understanding half of the story

At that, Katsura chuckled, making Hijikata growl, "What's so funny?"

Katsura chuckle turned into a much louder laugh, making Hijikata feel like he was being made fun of (something he didn't like at all). Once Katsura was able to get control of himself, he rasped, "Oh Douhou-kun, you just don't get it do you? You Shinsengumi have never been popular with the Joui groups. Of course that goes for Ninomiya's group as well. I'm sure they want to get rid of you so they're free to do whatever else they have planned. Which probably involves blowing something up, that did seem to be what Ninomiya Ankoku liked doing the most after all."

"That makes sense I guess…" Hijikata said, feeling the familiar sting that always came when he heard that people didn't like the Shinsengumi. Sure they were police, and a little rough around the edges, and Sougo didn't know how to control himself or his bazooka, but were they really that bad? Ok, maybe it made sense that Joui groups didn't like them, but it still stung just a little bit…

"So," Katsura said, forcing Hijikata out of his own thoughts on why people should like the Shinsengumi, "What do you think we should do now? Should we go see if Abe-san is out there waiting for us? Or should we let Ninomiya Ankoku think that we too are his enemies so after he carries out whatever plan he has he can come after us next?"

Hijikata rolled his eyes, "Oh yeah, you're giving me a really hard choice here: stop this Ankoku guy, or let him destroy Edo. That's a really hard decision for me to make there Katsura."

"Yes," Katsura agreed, playing along with the act, "I have given you a most difficult choice to make. But, I you like you to make it before your 'Sugegasa man' leaves please."

Hijikata rolled his eyes again, "Fine, let's go see what he wants."

As Hijikata turned to go back out the door, Katsura put a staying hand on his shoulder, "Sorry Douhou-kun, you're staying in here this time."

"Why?" Hijikata asked, exasperated that Katsura wasn't letting go outside; he deserved to know what the Sugegasa man's plans were too after all since they seemed to involve destroying the Shinsengumi at the moment.

"Because," Katsura replied simply, he's bound to figure out who you really are. Your disguise may have worked for a few seconds but I doubt it will work much longer than that."

"Enlighten me as to why that would be please, 'Katsura-san'." Hijikata growled

"You had a conversation with the guy before, didn't you." Katsura stated

"Yeah, what of it?"

"I would imagine that you're not good at disguising your voice for very long. And, while my group has only heard angry snippets of yelling at them to arrest them, Abe-san out there heard much of you. Therefore, I will talk to him alone."

Before Hijikata could make any further protests, Katsura swept past him and out the door. Once the door was closed, Hijikata cursed long but quietly (no need to alert anyone else to what had just gone down between them after all).

Hijikata wanted to follow Katsura outside just to prove the long-haired Joui leader wrong, but he knew he was right; Hijikata wasn't Yamazaki so he was pretty bad with disguises and he was more the type to charge in and wreck the place than lay low. So Hijikata stayed where he was, hoping that Katsura wouldn't take too long so the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi would be spared the anxiety of knowing his boss (even if only temporary) wasn't putting himself in danger.

* * *

When Katsura was back outside, he saw the person Hijikata called the 'Sugegasa man' waiting for him looking more than a little impatient. As Katsura caught his gaze, the Joui leader smiled amiably and said, "I'm sorry about earlier. We had cleanup to do after our annual concert so I was a little busy."

Shizuka's eyes narrowed slightly, suspicion in his voice, "I thought you said you didn't want to be a part of what Ninomiya-sama was going to ask of you."

"Yes," Katsura said with a mild shrug, "at the time, I thought you meant that I would have to go along with you right away and, as I said, I was busy, so I declined. But, I had time to talk it over with my group and we have decided that we would like to hear you out?"

"Well where's the rest of your group?" Shizuka asked, suspicion still coloring his voice

At that, Katsura's eyes turned hard, "We said we would listen to what you have to say. After I have heard Ninomiya-san's plan, I will convey it to my comrades and we will decided whether or not we want to join your group."

"Ah," Shizuka said, understanding crossing his features, "that's fine then. But, you have to have your answer soon after I tell you, Ninomiya-sama is not a patient man after all."

"Yes, I remember, Ankoku never had the patience for waiting for results. That's why he left, he said that my methods for instigating change would take too long and that more drastic measures were needed. Do you agree with him, Abe-san?"

There as a pause in which Shizuka's eyes became blank. The man then said, "Whether I agree or not doesn't matter. Do you want to hear Ninomiya-sama's plans or not?"

Katsura nodded, a knowing smile ghosting his lips, "Go on then, Abe-san, let's not keep Ninomiya-san waiting. After all, as you said, he is an impatient man."

Shizuka nodded stiffly back, "Yes, Ninomiya-sama plans to infiltrate the sewers under the Shinsengumi complex and, as they won't see us coming, take them out. Unfortunately that is all that Ninomiya-sama has let me know at the moment. I'm sure, though, if you agree, he will tell you what he is planning after that phase of his plan is a success."

"But, what does he need me for? I'm sure he has plenty of highly skilled warriors, like yourself, at his side to get the job done."

"Yes," Shizuka nodded, "But, he want's your bomb-making skills to make sure that there is enough chaos in the Shinsengumi complex that they won't be able to react quick enough to defend themselves."

"Ah, I see." Katsura nodded.

"So," Shizuka asked, sounding impatient, "Will you accept or not?"

Katsura gave the blond man a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "As I said before, I'll need to think about it and talk it over with the other members. So, I don't have answer for you yet."

Shizuka huffed an exasperated breath out, as if he really hadn't wanted to be the one to deal with Katsura in the first place, "When will you have an answer for me, Katsura-san? We put the first phase of our plan into action in six days."

"I will have an answer for you the day after tomorrow then." Katsura said, "I'm sure Ninomiya-san can wait that long."

"Can't you have it any sooner?" Shizuka asked, sounding slightly desperate, making Katsura wonder if Ninomiya Ankoku had threatened this person somehow.

Deciding not to dwell on it, though, Katsura shook his head and gave a concise "no" and then turned around and went back into his flower shop hideout, leaving no room for any further negotiation with Abe Shizuka.

When the door closed, Shizuka sighed, he wished that had gone better. It would have been nice if he could have reported to Kashira that Katsura had accepted the invitation instead of delaying an answer to the day after tomorrow. But, what happened, happened and Shizuka hoped that Kashira wouldn't be too mad at him for the news. So, Shizuka turned away from the flower shop to relay his conversation with Katsura Kotaro to Kashira.

* * *

As soon as Katsura shut the door, he was ambushed by Hijikata who asked, "So, what is his plan?"

"Impatient aren't you, Douhou-kun? I just got back, can't I have a small break to catch my breath?"

"No," Hijikata said immediately, "I need to know what that bastard is planning so I can go warn my comrades."

"Warn them?" Katsura asked, making Hijikata stop dead, "If you do that, don't you think my men will get suspicious?"

"Who cares? If I get found out, I can just go back. It's not like I need to be here, I'm sure that Sougo has explained that he was joking when he said I was the one who killed Namakura."

"And then what?" Katsura asked, "Are you going to rat us out as well as Ninomiya's group? It would be convenient for you wouldn't it? You would be able to stop a legitimate terrorist plot and blame us for aiding and abetting if we happen to be there? I thought I told you not to abuse their trust. Or are you trying to incur my wrath?"

Hijikata looked at Katsura, a look of pain painted across his face, "You really think I would do that? You really trust me so little?"

"Yes," Katsura said simply, "You are a part of the Shinsengumi after all. It is my belief that you guys would do anything to make your arrests."

"Under normal circumstances I would have no qualms about arresting the lot of you. But, at the moment, it seems to me that all of Edo, including the Shinsengumi, is under threat. Do we not have a common goal to stop them?"

Katsura pause seemed to be enough answer for Hijikata. After a moment, he took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, "Fine, I get it, you don't trust me. I'll just get out of your hair then. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone where you secret flower shop is."

Just as Katsura realized what Hijikata meant by that, Hijikata pushed him out of the way and opened the flower shop door forcefully. As the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi was walking out the door, Katsura called out to him, "Douhou Juushiro, where are you going? Don't do anything foolish! We need to talk about this, come back!"

But Katsura's only response was the door slamming shut and Hijikata's retreating back, a trail of smoke marking his trail as he left.

**And that is the end of this chapter. Next chapter, Hijikata will get some advice from someone from another story of mine ^_^ And now, the slightly (maybe) bad news. On Friday evening I will be going on vacation. So, I might not update anything until I get back. But, I'm not absolutely sure, so we'll see how the vacation goes (long plane and train rides are good for writing after all). And, as always, if you'd like please leave a review, I always love to know what you guys think. Until next update then guys ^_^**

**-****村山鶴**


	11. Yorozuya's Gin-Chan Seems Off Today

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here, bringing you the 11****th**** chapter of this story ^_^ sort of meant to update sooner, but being a lazy-ass got in my way. And, without further rambling (though not much of that happened this time), here's that chapter, I hope you enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

As the last usable bit of his cigarette burned down, Hijikata's anger at the mistrust Katsura still held about his Shinsengumi-ness subsided…mostly. It wasn't like he hadn't expected it, but it seill stung quite a bit to know that there were people, even wanted terrorists for some reason, who didn't trust him or his group.

But, as quickly as the anger about Katsura's mistrust had come, it disappeared just as quickly, as if it were smoke from his cigarette dissipating into the atmosphere; just like how he had stalked away from the flower shop headquarters, a cigarette between his lips from the pack that Katsura had "filched" for him about a day ago.

So, as Hijikata looked for a place to put his cigarette out (unfortunately, the people of Edo were too mindful about people stamping out their cigarettes under their feet), he started to feel like a fool for walking out like had.

Hijikata may be more emotional than Sougo, but angry temper-tantrum-like walkouts were usually reserved for Kondo-san or someone else (like Shinpachi, Hijikata didn't know all that much about the glasses wearing member of the Yorozuya, but he seemed the type to walk out of a room in an emotional huff). Hijikata usually was the one to suffer in silence until everything exploded in one big burst (no, Hijikata did not count that as a temper tantrum, because that would mean that he hadn't grown up even a little).

But, that was beside the point at the moment…Now that his anger had cooled mostly, Hijikata imagined that it would be a good idea to go back to Katsura's shop and apologize (or the manlier version of that; hope Katsura decided to forgive him by acting like the Tsundere he is). But, Hijikata's pride shot down that notion in an instant, and the black haired man kept walking around aimlessly.

Eventually, Hijikata realized where his feet had taken him and he cursed aloud, causing many glances from the people around him. Hiding his face, Hijikata walked up the steps to the Yorozuya and knocked ; hoping that if he explained that he was trying to hide from anyone who might recognize him, Yorozuya would let him in.

But, instead of Gin opening the door like Hijikata had imagined he would, some other man with grey hair and a slightly predatory look opened the door. Hijikata gave the man a look and asked, annoyed that this person wasn't who he expected, "Who are you? And, where's Yorozuya?"

Instead of giving any sort of answer, the man beckoned for Hijikata to come inside. Hijikata was tempted to just turn around and leave; preferring that someone from the Shinsengumi found him out to some stranger, who possibly kidnapped Yorozuya, do the same to him. But, when the other silver haired man was inside, he gave Hijikata a look that seemed to compel Hijikata to obey any order that the man gave him.

So, giving up, Hijikata entered the Yorozuya (as he originally planned), and, at a look from the man, closed the door behind him. Once Hijikata was sitting down and the other man seemed to be done appraising him, Hijikata asked once again, "Who are you?"

"Gibbs." Was the only word out of the man's mouth.

Eyebrow raised, Hijikata asked, police instincts kicking in a little bit, "Ok, Gibbs, now for the second part of my question, where's Yorozuya?"

There was a pause, in which Gibbs seemed to study Hijikata once more. After Hijikata seemed to pass the inspection, Gibbs said, "Washington DC, where he is attempting to lead my team."

Brow scrunching in consternation, Hijikata said the first thing that came to mind, "Um…what are you talking about?"

Without another word, the man stood up and went to the kitchen and started a pot of water boiling. More confused than ever Hijikata decided to try another question, "So, where are Shinpachi and that girl that Sougo's so obsessed with beating?"

Still focused on the pot of water, Gibbs said, "Probably asleep. How do you like your coffee?"

Hijikata was starting to get frustrated with how this guy was and yet wasn't answering his questions. But, feeling that coffee would be a good idea, he said, "Black I guess…But, if there's any mayonnaise, I'd like some of that too."

There was a pause in which Hijikata could feel the eyebrow raise from the man. But, all the man did was look in the refrigerator and, after a few seconds, closed it again, saying, "Sorry, no mayo. I guess you'll just have to take it black."

"Yeah," Hijikata said awkwardly, not feeling the urge to ask any more questions at the moment, "…Black sounds good…"

The rest of the wait for the coffee to brew was conducted in silence, thankfully to Hijikata, so his thoughts strayed, once again, to how he left Katsura in a huff. And before he knew it, Gibbs was setting down a cup of strong black coffee in front of him saying, "Drink, it looks like you need it."

With a small purse of his lips, Hijikata picked up the mug and took a tentative sip, usually only coffee with mayonnaise tasted any good to him (as he was really drinking the coffee for the morning dose of mayonnaise, but that's a different story), but this coffee was surprisingly good, and Hijikata found himself drinking more of it in large groups.

Once Hijikata finished his cup (and left wanting more), he looked up to see Gibbs giving him an amused stare. Hijikata raised a defensive eyebrow, but Gibbs said nothing and gestured to the pot of coffee near him with a nod.

After Hijikata poured himself another cup of that delicious coffee (waking up at three A.M. tends to give all coffee an all-too-good taste), Gibbs decided that it was his turn to ask a question, "So, what brings you here?"

Caught in mid-sip, there was a pause in the conversation while Hijikata swallowed the rest of his coffee and then the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi said, gruffly, "Just had to get away. I thought someone else would be here."

"Yeah, Sakata Gintoki," Gibbs nodded, taking a sip of his coffee, "well, he and I have been…switched for the time being, so you're stuck with me. Tell me, what's your story? You don't really seem to be on good terms with Sakata."

"Tch," Hijikata huffed again, "it's a long story."

"We have time." Was Gibbs's response

Hijikata rolled his eyes and took another gulp of coffee. He then started recounting what had happened a few days ago and what led him back to the Yorozuya this morning. Once Hijikata was finished talking, Gibbs said, "You know, terrorists tend not trust police. And, from what I can tell, you've been chasing this Katsura guy pretty hard, so it's not unexpected that he wouldn't trust you."

"I know that." Hijikata growled, "but it still stings, y'know."

"I know. I've gone after a few terrorists as well. Still, you should go back and help them with their plan."

"I know, I know," Hijikata groaned, "It's all about weighing options and all that…I'll admit, though, the Shinsengumi's reputation isn't exactly…sparkling, so to speak…"

"Thug cops, as I've heard." Gibbs said with a nod

A scowl formed on Hijikata's lips as he growled, "And where did you hear that from? We are from the country so we may be a little rougher than the average city Samurai, but that doesn't make us thugs…! Sort of…I guess there are some people who might classify our actions as thug-like…but…well…that's because…well…yeah, I guess we are thugs…A-anyway, where would you get the idea that the Shinsengumi are thugs?"

Gibbs chuckled quietly, "I heard from a young witch that the Shinsengumi were thugs. Somehow she seemed more afraid of you guys than of being turned in to her own organization."

"Well, yeah," Hijikata said, looking slightly sheepish that some girl was more afraid of the Shinsengumi than her own shady organization and then it hit him what Gibbs had said and he looked at the other silver-haired man and asked, "A witch?"

"Yeah," Gibbs nodded, "you're not the only one who's in a strange situation."

Hijikata shrugged in agreement, "Yeah, well this is Gintama, its normal for all of us to have to deal with weird things. It wouldn't surprise me if there were some people who want Sorachi to change the way he does things…"

Gibbs made a sound like he knew exactly what Hijikata was talking about, but didn't say anything else. Then, a silence descended upon the two cops then as they drank the rest of the coffee that Gibbs had made, the conversation coming to an end.

Then, there was a sound nearby and Gibbs commented, "It seems that Kagura is up."

At that, Hijikata got up and started heading for the door, prompting Gibbs to ask, "Where are you going?"

Hijikata shrugged, "I think I'd rather not deal with Miss Yato today. Besides, I think its best that I head back to my terrorist; I bet he's having a meltdown looking for me. Thanks for the chat, see ya, maybe."

Gibbs chuckled again, "No problem, I hear that helping people is what 'Yorozuya' do after all."

And with that, Hijikata left Gin's small apartment with the replaced silver-haired leader of an NCIS team and made his way back to Katsura's hideout. When he got there, he felt a slight twinge of guilt at not coming back earlier, but he shook off a feeling and entered the building without another thought.

As he entered, someone pulled him into the building and Hijikata could just barely make out a sign that read, _Where the hell have you been? Katsura-san is in hysterics looking for you. He was just about to send out a search team…again, where have you been? And why do you smell like cigarettes, are you trying to get the cover Katsura-san worked hard on blown?_

Hijikata sighed and said, "I was out cooling my head. And, yeah, that did involve a cigarette…or two…"

Somehow Elizabeth managed to roll its eyes and wacked him with a sign that read, _Well, never mind that now. We need to get Katsura-san to calm down now._

Before Hijikata could say anything else, Elizabeth was dragging him through another set of doors witah a sign in all-capital letters that said, _I FOUND DOUHOU KATSURA-SAN, YOU CAN CALL OFF YOUR SEARCH PARTY NOW!_

Hearing the noise that Elizabeth made while dragging Hijikata into the room, Katsura turned around and, seeing Hijikata looking annoyed at Elizabeth ran toward the two and tackled Hijikata out of Elizabeth's suddenly loose grasp.

"Oi," Hijikata yelled, "Why did you tackle me?"

"Because," Katsura said with a voice that seemed to have been crying (Hijikata could even feel the snot starting to drip onto his Kimono), "you left without any explanation. If you keep doing things like this, you're bound to be caught by wither the Shinsengumi or Ankoku's group."

Hijikata sighed, "I wasn't going to get caught." You don't need to look after me like a mother hen."

Indignantly, Katsura extricated himself from Hijikata's Kimono front to glare at him, "I am not a mother hen, I'm Katsura! Besides, I have to look after anyone who's in my group, no matter how temporary that status is."

Hijikata rolled his eyes, "Anyway, what have you decided to do about Abe Shizuka's proposal?"

Katsura countered with a question of his own, "And what thought have you given to warning you Shinsengumi friends about all this?"

Hijikata pursed his lips and thought about it for a minute (he hadn't really thought about it earlier, other than how it annoyed him that he couldn't warn them). Eventually, Hijikata said, "I'm gonna go along with whatever you have planned for now…but, if the occasion arises that it's too much for your group to handle on its own, or the danger gets to be too much, then I am going to tell Kondo-san that we need his help."

Katsura, looking pensive, seemed to be evaluating what Hijikata had just said. After a while (and the third appraisal in this chapter), Katsura said, "Fine, that works for me. As long, as the Shinsengumi don't come in unless it's an emergency, then I doubt that my group is in any danger. And, as to Abe Shizuka's 'offer', I believe it would be good to go along with it for the moment and see what Ankoku's plans are."

Hijikata nodded in agreement, but before he could say anything else, Elizabeth held up a sign that read _Are you guys finished making you plans yet? I'm hungry, and after waking up at 3 this morning, I say it's high time we got lunch ready._

Katsura laughed at this, "You're right, Elizabeth, since Douhou-kun left, I forgot all about lunch. Let's gather everyone and head to Ikumatsu-dono's right away!" At that, the look in Elizabeth's eyes seemed to say 'not Ikumatsu's again, can't we go somewhere else for once?" but the sign 'she' held up said, _Ok, let's go gather everyone else._

**And that is the end of this chapter. I felt like adding Gibbs into this story just once, so that's how he appeared in this chapter ^_^…and that's all I have to say…Well, as always reviews are greatly appreciated as I love to know what you guys think. See you next chapter then, guys.**

**-****村山鶴**


	12. Hiding Places are Procured for Hijikata

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I recently got the 50****th**** (yay! 50 volumes already!) of Gintama. The cover is the adorable female version of Gin-chan! I think it would be fair to say the Sorachi-Sensei took inspiration from my Abuto story and decided to gender-bend the whole cast of Gintama (not really, please disregard this humble crane and her ramblings)! Well, anyway, enjoy the chapter ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei Dattebayo!**_

Ikumatsu Nishiki did a double take when she saw Hijikata Toshiro walk into her Ramen shop with Katsura and his gang. She had only met the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi in passing (whenever Katsura decided to hide in her shop to elude capture) so she knew what he looked like. It made her very suspicious that someone who looked exactly like Hijikata Toshiro (minus the cigarettes and mayonnaise and bazooka-loving companion) was hanging around Katsura.

If she remembered correctly (and she usually did when it came to Katsura), he was one the run from Edo's group of thug police, not accepting them into his group without even a look of concern (even if that person only looked like him). Then the thought occurred to her that the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi might have infiltrated the Joui group and duping Katsura by pretending he was himself (Katsura seemed to fall for traps like that much too easily for Ikumatsu's liking).

Like that time Katsura had told her that the bland-looking Shinsengumi spy had managed to infiltrate, and pass somehow, Katsura's Joui acceptance test (I forgot what he called it in that episode, so I made something up ^_^). She had hoped that he would be more careful with who he let take that test in the future, but it seemed he hadn't so she decided that she would make sure that Katsura knew who his new member actually was.

So, once she had served her Ramen to Katsura she opened her mouth to ask if he knew that the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi was just eating lunch with him casually; but he shook his head slightly and she shut her mouth, guessing that she could just ask him later.

And, she was just about to take her chance to ask as the group was finished eating their lunch. Then, Katsura called over the person she thought was Hijikata (apparently he called himself Douhou, which didn't seem very original to Ikumatsu at all) and the two of them told her that he was indeed Hijikata Toshiro and that he was hiding from the Shinsengumi.

With a skeptical raised eyebrow, Ikumatsu asked, "And you expect me to believe this tale, Katsura-san?"

It was Hijikata who answered with a huff, "Whether you believe it or not is up to you. But what I told you is what happened."

Eyebrow still raised, Ikumatsu looked at Katsura and asked, "Was I talking to you, _Douhou-san_?"

The air seemed to crackle as the two stared each other down. Not wanting a fight to start between these two, Katsura said, "Ikumatsu-dono, don't be so prickly. What he says is true."

"How do you know that he's not trying to trick you? Like that spy you told me infiltrated your test earlier." Ikumatsu said, exasperated that Katsura wasn't being more careful

Katsura just shook his head, though, and said cajolingly, "He isn't trying to trick us this time, Ikumatsu-dono. I knocked him out with a door, so I am repaying my wrong-doing by sheltering from the Shinsengumi who are after him because they think he killed one of his other members."

Ikumatsu rolled her eyes, "Fine, I get it. But, who's to say that he's not just going to raid your current base as soon as he gets out of this situation. I wouldn't trust him if I were you."

Katsura shook his head again, "Hijikata Toshiro may be a part of the Shinsengumi, but he is a Samurai and Samurai are always god on their word. And he told me that he wouldn't raid our hideout and I believe him."

Ikumatsu pressed her lips together in a thin line, but she said nothing else seeing as Katsura was steadfast in his belief in Hijikata Toshiro's word. Then, Hijikata spoke up again, a hint of teasing in his voice, "I wouldn't bother raiding that hideout, Katsura would see us coming from a mile away. If I really wanted to capture him I would capture you, Ikumatsu-san, that would probably bring him running in no time. After all, it seems to me as if the two of you are—"

Katsura clapped a hand over Hijikata's mouth, a blush forming on his cheeks as he practically shouted, "Nothing more that friends was all he was going to say! There is nothing more going on between us than friendship, right Ikumatsu-dono?"

Hijikata rolled his eyes while trying to remove Katsura's hand from his mouth and Ikumatsu just chuckled but said nothing. Katsura, wanting to get off the topic of his and Ikumatsu's relationship as fast as he could said, "So, Ikumatsu-dono, the reason why I had Douhou-kun tell you his story was because I wanted to ask you if you would be willing to house him if the need arose. If the Shinsengumi or Ankoku and his group come after him, I would imagine that this would be a safe place for him to hide out for a while."

Ikumatsu looked pensive for a moment and then shook her head, "No, I don't think him staying him here would be a good idea. What if he finds whatever secret hiding place you use and decides to come check it out on his next search for you?"

At that, Katsura struck a pose and said haughtily, "That wouldn't happen! No one, not even you would be able to find all the secret hiding places that I have carved out for myself here!"

With a deadpan Hijikata and both Ikumatsu said at the same time, "Are you looking for an anonymous letter to be sent to the Shinsengumi to search her/my shop?"

Katsura, looking shocked said, "What do you mean? Just because I said that I have secret spots here doesn't mean that anyone would be able to find then! Not even you, Ikumatsu-dono!"

"Then I demand that you tell me where they are now." She said bluntly

Hijikata, looking dour said, "I should have you arrested for being a peeping tom. Who knows where you're hiding spots are located…"

Katsura, looking scandalized this time, shouted, "I am not like Gintoki! I would never do something like that! All my hiding spots are underground near the kitchen so that if I have to spend a long amount of time here I can get the food I need."

"Ah," Ikumatsu said realizing something, "so that's why whenever you hideout here a lot of my food goes missing. Now I have to go look for these hiding spots so I won't have to keep stocking up on ingredients whenever you hide from the Shinsengumi. By the way, he's really not as bad as you guys make him out to be. Not all Joui patriots are terrorists, so why don't you stop chasing Katsura around all the time and go after the real bad guys."

"Fine," Hijikata said, a slight smirk forming on his lips, "I'll see what I can do if you let me stay here if I'm in trouble."

"Yes, Ikumatsu-dono, you should take this deal," Katsura nodded enthusiastically, wanting her to say yes so he and Hijikata could leave before she demanded that he show her where his hiding spots were, "It would be a lucrative deal for all parties involved."

Ikumatsu sighed, remembering, once again, how frustrating Katsura could be sometimes and said, "Fine, if you are in so much trouble that you need to hide out in my restaurant then you can. But, in return, you promise me that you won't drag Katsura-san into danger just because you were framed for something. He already has enough to handle without you to deal with as well."

Hijikata was reminded, in that moment, looking at Ikumatsu's serious expression, a little of Shimura Shinpachi's older sister (without the temper that seemed to flare up every five seconds) and nodded, "I promise you that I will try to keep your boyfriend out of my trouble. But, if he wants to drag himself into my problems then that's not my fault."

Ikumatsu rolled her eyes, not quite satisfied with how Hijikata had worded his 'promise', but she knew that that was probably the best he could do knowing how Katsura liked to charge headlong into danger when a comrade was in trouble (even if that comrade was only temporary). But before she could agree to what Hijikata had said, Katsura shouted, the blush returned full-force to his face, "Well, it seems as if it's time to go now Ikumatsu-dono! We mustn't keep our comrades waiting. See you later…!"

And Katsura steered an annoyed, grumbling Hijikata out of the Ramen shop. As the doors swung shut, she heard Katsura attempt to whisper quietly, "W-why would you call me Ikumatsu-dono's boyfriend! Didn't I say earlier that we don't have that kind of relationship!"

Hijikata, in a normal voice said back, "Well, it seems to me, and probably everyone else in Gintama, that you and the Ramen shop owner have something going on…though, that's not saying much when it comes to Sorachi…he doesn't seem to be very good at romance…but…this is a Shonen manga so…"

Ikumatsu missed the rest of the conversation as the door closed completely. Once those two were out of sight, Ikumatsu went to the door and changed the closed sigh to open; it was time to let the rest of the lunch crowd eat. Since Katsura and his group took up the whole restaurant, Ikumatsu usually 'closed' the place so that there wouldn't be too long a line waiting, and getting impatient, for Katsura and his gang to finish.

* * *

When Katsura and Hijikata returned to the flower shop hideout, Hijikata was feeling irritated (more irritated than he usually felt when dealing with Katsura). And the reason for that was because Katsura had decided that he would lecture the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi about how Shonen Manga didn't need any romance and how he and Ikumatsu had 'absolutely no other relationship than friendship', or some such crap like that.

Really, anyone with eyes could see that Katsura clearly had the hots for that Ramen shop owner and she (though probably less obviously) returned those feelings (if you couldn't tell, I am an Ikumatsu-Katsura shipper ^_^). Irritated and grumbling, Hijikata almost didn't notice that Abe Shizuka was outside the hideout, once again, waiting for Katsura.

Luckily, though, Katsura was paying attention and pushed Hijikata into a nearby bush, making the black-haired man hiss in protest, "Oi, what do you think you're doing? Just because you can't admit that you and that Ramen shop owner have something going on is not reason to push me."

Katsura rolled his eyes and put a finger to his lips, making Hijikata alert that Katsura's reason for pushing him wasn't just to be petty. Katsura then said, "If you weren't so buys going on about some imaginary 'relationship' between Ikumatsu-dono and I then you would have noticed that the person who helped frame you for murder is outside our hideout."

"Ah," Hijikata said, "why don't you go talk to him and see what he wants then? I'll be fine, here in these small, cramped bushes…"

"Well, do you have a disguise on you? If not, then you will be staying here."

The look in Hijikata's eyes told Katsura that he was well aware that he was going to be staying in the bushes so Katsura nodded and got up to go see what the member of the other Joui group wanted. When he got within better earshot of Abe Shizuka he said, "I thought I told you to come back the day after tomorrow. You're a lot like Gintoki; can't seem to listen at all."

There was a pause and then Shizuka said, "It's an honor to be compared to Shiroyasha-sama, but I came back one Ninomiya-sama's orders. He is rather impatient to hear your answer to his proposition."

Hijikata sighed exaggeratedly and looked to be making an agitated, hurried decision about what to do. Eventually, Katsura said. "I think that Ankoku-san's plan is a good one and I shall accept his offer."

Even though Hijikata knew that Katsura was acting, the thought that he was just sitting there and listening to a plot against the Shinsengumi (and the rest of Edo) and not able to do something about it right that instant set his teeth on edge and had Hijikata wishing that this exchange would be over with sooner so that everyone could make plans to stop this Ankoku person's plans in their tracks.

Deep in his brooding about not being able to nip a threat to the Shinsengumi in the bud, Hijikata almost missed Shizuka's slightly shocked reply of, "Really…? But you seemed so reluctant before…"

"Well that's because you spring the idea on me suddenly and I hadn't had any time to ponder the matter." Katsura responded, "Now that I have, I also think that it is a good idea. If we are done here, then you should go report the 'good news' to your boss and then come back and tell us what we need to do to help."

There was another pause in which Hijikata imagined that the Sugegasa man was nodding (the bushed didn't provide all that good of a view into their conversation). He then heard footsteps pass by his bush and after another pause, Katsura called out, "Douhou-kun, you can come out now."

Hijikata stood up, feeling stiff from squatting inside a small patch of bushed and asked, "So, what now?"

Katsura looked to make sure that Abe Shizuka was out of earshot and then said, "Now, we wait until we know what their plans are so that we can come up with a counter plan. But, before that, we have to tell everyone else about this."

**And that is the end of that chapter…and I have nothing else to say for this author's note! So, see you next chapter. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated as I love to know what you guys think ^_^**

**-****村山鶴**


	13. Accidental Homecomings Aren't Very Fun

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Here's the 13****th**** chapter, I hope you enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei Dattebayo (yes, I decided to use this joke a second time)!**_

"You want us to do what now, Katsura-san?" came a general cry of annoyance when Katsura announced his plan for a joint mission with Ninomiya Ankoku's group to take out the Shinsengumi.

Hijikata sighed, figuring that this might happen, but decided not to say anything that they weren't really going to go along with the plan for fear that he might out himself as a Shinsengumi member. Hijikata was then pulled out of his thoughts as another member of Katsura's group complained, "Katsura-san, I thought that you didn't like that ass Ankoku after he left because you weren't blowing stuff up anymore…"

"Yeah," another person agreed, "we shouldn't be helping that jerk out. Didn't he tell us something like we 'rue the day' for letting him leave or something? It has been a while and I certainly don't regret that guy being here."

Before any more comments could be made about what an ass Ninomiya Ankoku was or how working with him was a bad idea, Katsura raised a hand and the crowd fell silent. Once Katsura was sure that all attention was back on him he said, "As much as I don't want to work with Ninomiya Ankoku," Hijikata felt a familiar pang and thought that Katsura's gaze lingered on him a little longer necessary than anyone else and Hijikata had a feeling that he knew what his temporary boss was going to say, "I think this would be a good way to make our message clear to the citizens of Edo. And, it would be much easier to do that if the Shinsengumi were out of the way."

There was silence around the room as everyone absorbed what Katsura had just said. Eventually, Elizabeth held up a sign that read, _Are you serious Katsura-san? I thought you _were_ against violence now._

There was another pause in which Katsura did look at Hijikata this time. The two shared a quick, silent conversation with their eyes and Katsura seemed to make a decision about what to say next. He turned his eyes to the rest of his group again and said, "No, I don't actually plan to go along with Ninomiya Ankoku's plan. I may not like the Shinsengumi, but or former team member is much too radical for what this country needs at the moment."

'Much like Takasugi Shinsuke…' Hijikata thought darkly, not very happy about where this conversation was going

There was another eruption of complaints and, "Then why are we doing this Katsura-san"s.

Eventually, the noise level got loud enough that Katsura was forced to hold up his hand again. And again, the noise level died off almost immediately. Then, Katsura took a breath and Hijikata swallowed hard, imagining that now was the time that he would be revealed as a Shinsengumi member.

Katsura then said, "We're doing this because we need to let Ninomiya Ankoku and his group that his brand of Joui will not be tolerated by us. We're only going along because that's the only way to get close enough to stop them."

There was a murmur of agreement among the group, and one sigh that came from Hijikata meaning that his 'cover' hadn't been blown yet. But, Katsura hushed the group again as he said, "Also, one member of Ninomiya Ankoku's group, Abe Shizuka, is responsible for Douhou-kun's coming here. Because he killed a Shinsengumi member in an alley that Douhou-kun happened to be in, our newest member was forced on the run from those bastards and take refuge with Gintoki."

There was another murmur of disapproval about Ninomiya Ankoku and his group and how they should pay for all their wrong-doings. While this next set of not-so-quiet-whisperings was going on, Hijikata shot a glare in Katsura's direction, that spoke of his disapproval of almost revealing who he was to a group of Joui Shishi.

But, Katsura only shrugged and his returning 'innocent' look seemed to say that he knew exactly what he was doing. Hijikata sighed in exasperation and wondered if this was really a good idea. But he gave up thinking too deeply about it, as Sakata Gintoki would probably have thought up something much worse for Hijikata and his band of 'Yorozuya' to do.

* * *

Abe Shizuka returned to his base with a triumphant smirk on his face. As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by a sullen-looking Sakubo who asked, "What are you so smiley about, 'Chizuo-kun'?"

There was a slight dip in Shizuka's smirk, but, he was in a good-enough mood to let the gibe slide right over him as he responded, "Well, I have just procured Katsura Kotaro's cooperation in out plan to wipe out the Shinsengumi."

"Oh really?" Sakubo asked, sounding annoyed for some reason, "I bet Kashira will be thrilled to hear that."

"I'm sure he will." Shizuka said simply and he strode off towards Ninomiya Ankoku's office without another word. Sakubo glared at her comrade's retreating form, not very happy that the new guy in town was making so much of a splash.

Once Shizuka reached Ninomiya's door, he knocked tentatively (knowing that his boss was still mad at him for not getting a favorable response right away). There was a pause and then Ninomiya said, "If that's you Shizuka, you better have good news for me. If not, then leave."

Knowing that he did have good news for his boss, Shizuka opened the door slowly and said, "I do have good news, Kashira. I went back to Katsura-san's hideout and asked again what he thought of your plan. He gave me favorable response and says that he awaits further instructions from you."

There was a long pause in which Shizuka thought that he may have said the wrong thing to his boss, as the man seemed to be brooding over something. But then, a soft sound began issuing from Ninomiya's mouth and Shizuka was unsure of what it was at first.

But then, as the sound grew louder, Shizuka realized that his boss was laughing loudly (and somewhat crazily as well, but that wasn't something that Shizuka was going to admit to thinking). Feeling left out of something, Shizuka cautiously ventured, "Did I say something funny, Ninomiya-sama?"

Ninomiya's laughing continued for some time, until it died abruptly and he said, "No, but I was just thinking about how patient I have been for all this time. Once this plan goes into action, 'Katsura-san' is sure to regret letting me go all that time ago. And, when we are successful, and he begs me to come back, I will finally be able to combine his group into my own! Then, Edo will know the full might of Ninomiya Hikaru and how they should never have turned their backs on me!"

Shizuka had almost no idea what his boss was talking about. But, he had heard tell that his boss never used his real name, Hikaru, as it sounded much too much like a certain fictional prince from the Heian Period, and served as a reminder that he was only the 'second most important shrine' (more will be explained about this later ^_^) to the one person he hated most in the world.

Shizuka felt that he had to say something, but before he could, Ninomiya barked out, "Shizuka, you are dismissed. Report to wherever you are needed next immediately."

Shizuka nodded and muttered a quick 'goodbye' and left the room with a bow. Once the door was closed, Shizuka turned around with a sigh and was confronted with Sakubo staring right at him expectantly. Not wanting to deal with this at the moment, Shizuka snapped (all previous signs of a good mood gone), "What do you want?"

Sakubo sighed and said, "Well, I was just wondering how it went with Ninomiya-sama. Was he happy to hear your news?"

"I guess…" Shizuka said, "he laughed and said now was his time to shine…or something to that effect."

There was a slight eyebrow raise from Sakubo that Shizuka missed, still wondering what had happened with his boss. Then, the short girl said, "Well, 'Chizuo-kun', I believe that you have somewhere to be now, don't you?"

After he nodded, Sakubo continued, "Well then, you better get over there. I'll go see how our boss is taking the news, hn?"

Shizuka nodded again and began wandering away toward wherever he was wanted next. Once Shizuka was, yet again, out of sight, Sakubo looked around furtively for anyone who might be watching. When she saw no one, she moved to a dark alley and began composing a message on a long, narrow piece of paper. Once she was done, she made a low whistling sound and a large bird seemingly came out nowhere and perched on her outstretched arm.

Once the bird was settled, she rolled up her message and placed it in a tube at the bird's feet. She then sent the bird .back to wherever it flew in from an watched it fly off. When the bird was gone, she looked over to Ninomiya Hikaru's office and whispered so softly, the air barely trembled, "You've brought this upon yourself, 'Kashira', going after that person. And we're not done with him yet, so your role is coming to an end." Sakubo then turned around, her movement making her hair flutter of her neck revealing a small, dark tattoo that resembled a simple image of a three-legged crow (yes, yes I know that the idea of putting the Naraku in seems a little weird at the moment, but it came to me so I'm going to use it ^_^).

* * *

Hijikata felt particularly drained as he got ready for bed. After Katsura's speech, people kept coming up to him and apologizing to him for the actions of their former comrade. It almost made Hijikata want to yell at them and tell them that this Ninomiya Ankoku dude had framed (except it was Abe Shizuka, not Ninomiya Ankoku) a Shinsengumi member.

But something always made him stop his tongue from revealing that particular detail. He definitely wasn't ready to be mobbed by a group of Joui Shishi who felt that he had betrayed them in some way. So, he kept his mouth shut and the apologies just kept coming, annoying Hijikata even more.

Then, at last, everyone decided that it was time to go to bed and Hijikata was finally left alone for the night. As he lay down on his Futon, he felt that tonight he would get a good. long sleep and wake up refreshed for whatever was going to happen tomorrow.

But then, a few moments after he had closed his eyes, they popped right back open and Hijikata thought angrily to himself, 'Dammit, I can't sleep!'

But, instead of getting up and moving around, Hijikata turned over and hoped that sleep would come to him if he just waited. And, after some more rolling around, Hijikata sat up, annoyed that he was so tired and yet too wired to actually fall asleep.

So, the black haired vice-captain of the Shinsengumi stood up and wandered around the now silent flower shop. He wandered around, checking that everyone was asleep (and having a start after seeing that Katsura somehow was able to sleep with his eyes wide open), Hijikata snuck out of the flower shop for some late night wandering.

Without any destination in mind, Hijikata's feet took him wherever as he lit up a cigarette. As he wondered and wandered, his cigarette glowing in the night like a small beacon in the night, his feet decided to take him to the one place that he probably shouldn't be going to at the moment.

He only realized that his feet had betrayed him again (that sugar freak's house wasn't enough, now he was at the place he, sort of, promised Katsura he wouldn't go to) when a light started shining in his eyes and a familiar voice shouted, "Who goes there? Don't you know you shouldn't be walking the Shinsengumi complex at night? You could be mistaken for a suspicious individual."

Out of habit, Hijikata growled, "Shut up Yamazaki, I'm no suspicious individual, it's me Hijikata. And get that light out of my face; are you trying to give me eye problems?"

There was a slight intake of breath and then the light was gone and Yamazaki whispered urgently, "Fukucho, what are you doing here? I thought you had escaped."

Hijikata sighed, "I had escaped and I hadn't meant to come back until things have quieted down. Have they?"

There was a pause and Yamazaki said slowly, "Not exactly. Okita-Taicho is still convinced that you were the one who killed Namakura-san, but Kondo-Kyokucho is trying to convince you otherwise. Because I told you to escape, though, things have gotten out of hand and the Shinsengumi is split into two factions; the Hijikata is Not Guilty and the Hijikata is Guilty faction…"

"SO," Hijikata spat, feeling a vein throbbing on his forehead, "this is all your fault then, isn't it? If you hadn't told me to leave then I would have been able to straighten all this out, wouldn't I?"

Yamazaki, looking scared and guilty, was about to say something that was most likely an apology. But, before he could, another voice demanded, "Yamazaki, what's the problem? Is someone giving you trouble? Are you trying to help Hijikata-san escape again?"

Hijikata swallowed hard, knowing that once again Sougo decided to show up at the worse time possible. And this time, Hijikata didn't seem to have a convenient window to escape out of this time…

**And that is the end of this chapter. As I said before, I'll explain the "second most important shrine" thing now. Ninomiya means second most important shrine (that was easy, wasn't it ^_^). In Japanese festivals (Shinto especially, I think), they carry around portable shrines so that the Shinto gods that are being celebrated can enjoy their festival (I think…). And, the one that is transported second is called the Ninomiya. SO, later there will be an Ichinomiya I think. As always reviews are greatly appreciated as I love to know what you guys think. See you next update.**

**-****村山鶴**


	14. Sleeping in One's Own Bed is Always Best

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I know this update is a little late, but I have a good explanation for that! Recently I started replaying a game that I love,** **.Hack/G.U., in order to write another Fanfiction…maybe…But, that didn't really work out as the character I want to write for isn't really in that game so that means that I'll have to play the second game as well (oh, woe is me ^_^). Well anyway, here's the chapter.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

Thinking fast about what he should do next (i.e. try to run or stick this confrontation out), he heard Yamazaki answer, "I did not help Fukucho escape, Okita-Taicho. It was not my fault that he found the open window and used it. Next time you want to arrest him, make sure that you keep all windows locked."

There was a scary pause in which Hijikata wondered where Hijikata got the balls from to talk back to Sougo like he just did. But, after Hijikata imagined a vicious sneer appeared on Sougo's face, he said, "So, Yamazaki, who's your friend over there?"

Another pause ensued as Yamazaki was thinking up a lie and Hijikata was thinking of a way to escape this situation; curse his feet for taking him to the places he least wanted to visit. After seeing that no one was going to answer his question, Sougo asked again, the barely hidden violence thick in his voice, "Yamazaki, who's your friend?"

This time, after some scared flinching, Yamazaki answered, all the previous confidence leeching from his voice, "H-he's not my friend…Just someone who wandered by. I was just warning him off."

"Oh?" Sougo said, "and he wasn't scared off by you? Then I guess it's my turn to scare the guy off. After all, we have to maintain our reputation as thug cops."

Hijikata mentally slapped his forehead, annoyed that Sougo was one of the reasons that their reputation was so bad (of course, the demon vice-captain was another major reason for the Shinsengumi's bad reputation, but that's different…). Hijikata was so busy thinking about how bad Sougo was for the Shinsengumi's reputation he almost missed the brat's next question, "Hey, guy, you do know what happens to those who trespass onto Shinsengumi property don't you…?"

Hijikata couldn't help but roll his eyes in exasperation, but he decided that silence was still the best bet for the moment. And then Sougo started going off about what happened to trespassers who didn't know when to leave and Hijikata's mind drifted off again to how good sleep sounded at the moment.

"And then, we wrap your—"

Suddenly getting annoyed with how far Sougo was taking this, Hijikata snapped, "Shut up Sougo. I am not a trespasser, so your threats have no bearing against me."

There was another pause and Hijikata knew he had, yet again, walked right into one of Sougo's traps. The Shinsengumi's resident sadist then said, "Oh, in that case Hijikata-san, I have some other questions for you. Also, Kondo-san also wants to know why you ran away as well."

Hijikata pursed his lips and thought about running away. But then he realized how bad an idea that was and how much of a commotion that would cause at this time of night. So, he decided that he may as well just explain the situation to his comrades and take the heat from Katsura later. So, after a sigh, Hijikata said, "Fine, I'll come with you."

With a slightly surprised eyebrow flick, Sougo turned around and walked back into the Shinsengumi complex. Hijikata walked in as well and, as he passed by Yamazaki (who was positively quivering in fear now), the Shinsengumi spy whispered, "S-sorry Fukucho, I tried…"

Hijikata gave the spy a quick pat on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it. It's my fault for coming back here after all. I really just should have stayed away…"

"By the way," Yamazaki asked, "where have you been all this time? Kondo-san even went and checked Danna's place, but you weren't there." Instead of giving any sort of answer, Hijikata just shrugged and continued walking into the place he usually called home, leaving a confused Yamazaki wondering what the shrug meant.

Hijikata followed Sougo to their destination, sort of as he knew the way to Kondo's quarters perfectly well, and thought about what he was going to say to his boss. He thought about lying about the fact that he was currently staying with the number one person they were trying to arrest. But, at the same time, he wanted to tell them the truth so that, if the case arrived, they would be prepared for Ninomiya Ankoku's assault on his group.

And then, the time for thinking about what to do came to an end as Hijikata and Sougo walked into Kondo's quarters. Once Hijikata's focus wasn't on his own thoughts anymore, he looked up to see Kondo's teary-eyed face and heard him sniff pathetically. Then, his boss cried out, "Toshi, where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you. We even sent people out to Yorozuya's house to see if you were there!"

Hijikata sighed, "Kondo-san, please don't waste resources on looking for me. When I was ready I was going to come back."

"Unfortunately, Kondo-san," Sougo commented, "he's right. Hijikata-san is harder to kill than a cockroach Amanto."

Hijikata wanted to engage Sougo in his most recent insult, but instead he ignored this latest jibe and said, "Kondo-san, once we're done here I am going to have to leave again."

"But Toshi—" Kondo said with a drippy sniff

"Kondo-san," Hijikata held up a hand making Kondo blink in surprise that made him listen carefully, "before I go though, I have something to tell you."

Hearing something in his voice, Kondo said, "What's up Toshi? This sounds serious."

"I'm sure," Sougo drawled lazily, reminding Hijikata quite a bit of Sakata Gintoki, "it's probably just something about his bowels or some such crap like that."

"Come on, Sougo," Kondo chided gently, "I really doubt Toshi would tell us something like that, he's the type to keep that to himself. I remember this one time that he—"

"Ahem," Hijikata coughed not-so-subtly, saying, with a light blush on his face (mortified by the fact his comrades could talk about poop so easily), "Can we get to what I have to tell you now?"

Kondo nodded for Hijikata to continue and the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi started telling his comrades about what had been happening to him over the last few days and how he had learned of a plan that might put the Shinsengumi and all of Edo into danger. The only thing Hijikata left out was the fact that he was staying with Katsura Kotaro (as that didn't seem like something he should reveal at the time).

When Katsura was finished, there was a pause in which Kondo seemed to be taking everything in. But, it was Sougo who was the first to say something, "So, Hijikata-san, where exactly have you been staying for the past few days?"

Hijikata looked away and mumbled, "J-just around…nowhere special."

"Oh really?" was all Sougo could say before Kondo interrupted him with an uncharacteristic look.

Once Sougo's attention was on Kondo-san and away from plans to ruin Hijikata's reputation, the chief of the Shinsengumi said, "He doesn't have to tell us that, Sougo. Every man has his secrets after all. All we need to know at the moment is what we need to do if this Joui group indeed intends to attack us in less than a week."

Hijikata gave a grateful, and silent, sigh and then said, "All you guys need to do is be prepared for an attack…Unlike when that guy came to steal the map…"

"Well if you had been here," Sougo commented nonchalantly, inspecting his fingernails, "then I'm sure we would have been able to catch the guy. Instead, though, you were off killing one of our comrades."

"I was not!" Hijikata growled savagely, "Did I not just get through telling you what happened? And if you did your job more often, then you probably would have caught the guy as well!"

There was an eyebrow raise and then Sougo said, in the same nonchalant voice, "I don't know about that Hijikata-san, since you won't tell us where you're staying who knows what else you're lying about."

Hijikata felt a vein start to throb on his forehead but before he could say something that he regretted, Kondo intervened with an, "Ok guys, it's getting late. So, how about we hit the hay?"

With an obviously fake yawn, Sougo replied, "Sure, sounds good to me. All these explanations have made me extremely tired. Time to go count dead Hijikata bodies."

With another short glare-fest between Hijikata and Sougo, the sandy-haired captain of the Shinsengumi left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. Once Sougo was (probably) gone, Hijikata stood up himself, prompting Kondo to ask, "Where are you going Toshi?"

"Back to where I was hiding out before." Hijikata said with a small shrug, "I think I'll be able to get some sleep if I head out now. Besides who knows what that guy has planned for tomorrow, I need all the sleep I can get."

"Oh c'mon Toshi, you can stay the night. After all, getting a good night sleep is one of the most important things after all."

Hijikata sighed loudly this time, able to vent now that Sougo was gone, "No, I really think that I should get going Kondo-san…"

Sort of out of the blue, Kondo said, "You're staying with Katsura Kotaro right."

It wasn't a question, which made Hijikata reflect on how Kondo-san really was a lot sharper than he looked, and prompting him to answer, "Yeah…How'd you know?"

"Some guy at the Yorozuya told me…I was acting pretty crazy because I didn't know where you were and he wasn't the usual Sakata Gintoki. So, to calm me down, he told me that you were staying with someone that you were trying to arrest and I put together the rest from there."

"Ah," Hijikata said, his pride in his boss deflating a little bit (but, his admiration towards Yorozuya's replacement for being able to calm Kondo-san down grew quite a bit), "that makes sense. Still, though, I think I should get going. Katsura's going to wonder where I am if he doesn't find me tomorrow morning."

"Nonsense," Kondo said with a smile, "I'll get you up in time so you won't be missed! But, you have to stay the night after coming all this way. Don't you think that you'll sleep better in your own bed?"

Hijikata sighed once again and, knowing that he wasn't going to win this argument, gave in to Kondo's demands, "Fine, I'll stay the night. But, you have to promise to get me up early, ok?"

Kondo nodded enthusiastically, not making Hijikata feel all that confident that he would be able to wake up on time. But before Hijikata could make sure, once again that Kondo really would wake him up on time, Hijikata boss tried (and failed) to stifle a large yawn and Hijikata knew that it was time to end this conversation and go to sleep.

With a few last goodbyes, the two comrades parted ways for the night and Hijikata left his boss's room. As Hijikata closed the door, he could already hear Kondo's loud snores from the other side. The raven-haired man then chuckled quietly, amazed at how quickly Kondo could fall asleep, and made his way to his own room.

Once in his familiar quarters, Hijikata felt a wave of exhaustion hit him like a hammer. So without further ado, Hijikata practically fell into his futon and about ten seconds later, Hijikata was snoring away peacefully in his bed.

* * *

The next morning Hijikata woke languidly up with the sunlight that was filtering into his room; it was almost as if he had never been framed for murder (by Sougo no less) at all. But then, realizing that the last few days had, in fact happened, all the sleep left his eyes as he realized that Kondo had not woken him up at all.

And then, to make matters worse, Hijikata heard a familiar 'ahem' that made his heart sink. He turned around to see an angry-looking Katsura Kotaro glaring at him from inside his closet (Hijikata had no idea how he got there in the first place).

When Hijikata finally acknowledged Katsura's presence, the Joui leader hissed, "What did I tell you about going to the Shinsengumi, 'Douhou-kun'?" Hijikata sighed once more, he really didn't want to have to keep explaining things to people. At the moment, he really did not envy Kondo-san his job as head of the Shinsengumi, thus making him the one who had to explain everything that went wrong in his organization.

**And that is the end of this chapter. I have nothing else to say so, see you next update. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated as I love to know what you guys think.**

**-****村山鶴**


	15. On Mayonnaise Bottles and Weird Plans

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. It's been a while hasn't it? Sorry about that…being lazy and the new semester and moving into a new dorm room prevented me from updating…well, here's the chapter, I hope you all enjoy ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

Instead of answering Katsura's question, Hijikata hissed on of his own, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Katsura gave Hijikata a look like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world and said, "Looking for you. When I didn't find you this morning I got worried."

"You were worried about me?" Hijikata asked incredulously, wondering where in the world that came from

"Of course I was," Katsura answered indignantly, "I worry about all my comrades when they're missing. There was this one time during the Joui Sensou when both Gintoki and Takasugi were gone and we were about to go attack an Amanto vessel. Eventually, I became so frantic that they were missing that I was about to—"

"Ok, I get it," Hijikata interrupted, "you worry about your comrades when they're missing. But why in the world would you be worried about me? I'm not actually your comrade, y'know."

Katsura raised an eyebrow at that, "But, you were put under my care by Gintoki. Of course I'd be worried if you went missing. Who knows what he'd do to me if he found out that I lost you?"

It was Hijikata's turn to raise eyebrow, "I highly doubt that. Yorozuya just forced me on you so he wouldn't have another mouth to feed. If someone else were there, he would have forced me on them, I'm sure."

Katsura seemed to think about that for a minute and said, "Oh…you're right…maybe I should have left after I dropped you off at his house."

Hijikata sighed, about to agree with what Katsura had said, but Katsura continued speaking, "But if I had done that I would have felt terribly guilty. It was my fault that you were hit with a door after all. So, if I had left you with Gin and he had forced you to stay with someone else that did something untoward to you and made it so you were unable to be married then I would feel so awful that I would have to—"

"ENOUGH!" Hijikata said louder than he wanted to, as he did not like where this conversation was going, "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. No situation would have arisen where you would be forced to marry me…!"

A perplexed look crossed Katsura's face and he said, "What? Why would I be forced to marry you? Where did you get that idea from?"

Hijikata felt his face grow unnaturally hot as he mumbled, "I-isn't that what you were about to s-say?"

"Nope," Katsura said with a shake of his head, not looking embarrassed about where this conversation was going, "I was going to say that if something like that happened that I would find some girl who would marry you. Though, that does seem a little impossible considering your personality, your unnatural love for mayonnaise, your love of cigarettes, and the fact that you jump to conclusions…"

Feeling his face heat up for a different reason, Hijikata snapped, "I do not jump to conclusions! And there's nothing wrong with liking mayonnaise and cigarettes! We all have stuff that relaxes us, so why can't I like both of them?"

Katsura sighed, "And you're so defensive. No girl likes a defensive man. You need to be more relaxed or you'll never get a girl. You should really take some advice from Gintoki about this. Though…he does sometimes seem a little too relaxed…"

Hijikata was very close to strangling Katsura and then turning him in the Shinsengumi right then. But, after a deep, calming breath (the ones he usually had reserved for Sakata Gintoki), Hijikata attempted to change the subject, "Well, now that you've found me, I guess it's time to make plans to get out of here."

"Huh?" Katsura asked, confused, "Why would we need to do that?"

Hijikata sighed, "you do realize where we are don't you?"

Katsura thought about that and then, as he realized that they were still in the Shinsengumi complex, the color drained out of his face and he growled, "Why did you come back here if you knew it would get me in trouble? I knew that I couldn't trust you!"

Hijikata felt like banging his head against the floor, "I was going to come back earlier, but Kondo-san didn't wake me up in time! It wasn't like I came here on purpose! my feet just led me here, ok? I wasn't trying to betray your trust!"

"Oh," Katsura said, realization dawning on his face, "so I take it that you didn't tell your comrades about Ninomiya Ankoku's plans then?"

"W-well…about that…" Hijikata said, scratching the back of his head sheepishly, "It just kinda…slipped out that there were plans being made to destroy Edo…But, before you get mad, I didn't mention you or your group…just that my comrades should be careful…"

Hijikata trailed off, expecting Katsura to be angry with him or yell at him for disobeying orders, but Katsura just shrugged, "Oh well, what's done is done. As long as you didn't mention where my group is then you can tell those Shinsengumi bastards as much as you want."

Hijikata blinked in confusion at Katsura's display of unconcern that Hijikata had basically ignored what Katsura told him to do. So, in his confusion Hijikata asked, "You mean, you're not mad? But, I didn't do as you asked…"

"Fine," Katsura said with a small shrug, "I admit that it is a little annoying that you told your comrades when I told you not to. But, at the same time, I probably would have done the same thing. I know for sure that Gintoki would have. And he would have most likely been mad at you if you hadn't warned your comrades about any impending danger. So, no, I'm not mad at you."

As Hijikata was sighing in (silent) relief that Katsura wasn't mad at him, the Joui leader asked, "Now, what's your plan for getting us out of here?"

Hijikata closed his eyes in frustration that he had forgotten that small (not really) detail. After a minute, Hijikata said, "I think I have a plan." And Katsura moved closer to hear what it was.

* * *

"Hijikata-san," Sougo drawled as the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi walked past him pushing a suspiciously human-sized cart along, "What's in there?"

Hijikata seemed to stiffen as he heard Sougo speak; cursing silently that it was Sougo who had seen him and not Yamazaki or Kondo-san. Once it was apparent that Hijikata wasn't going to answer right away, Sougo tried again, "Hijikata-san, I know that Yamazaki can be a pain in the ass sometimes; but that's no reason stuff him into a too-small cage and parade him around to demoralize him until he—"

"Yamazaki's not in here," Hijikata growled, cutting Sougo off in his sadistic ramblings, "I'm nothing like you. If I wanted to punish Yamazaki I'd take away his badminton racket. This…this is my…mayonnaise supply…it's hard to get any mayonnaise where I'm staying at the moment…so I decided to bring some with me…"

"Oh really?" Sougo asked, suspicion lacing his voice, "then I guess you wouldn't mind if I took a look to see what's inside. I bet there're girly mags or something else equally blackmail-worthy."

In his anger, Hijikata snapped, "Yeah, sure, or maybe you'll find Katsura Kotaro in there; who knows when that guy is hiding now."

"In that case," Sougo said with a fake air of urgency, "I really would have to check. We don't want Katsura escaping you again, do we now?"

Hijikata growled in frustration at what he had said and the fact that there was no stopping Sougo from checking the cart now. Even though he had planned for the event that someone (most likely Sougo) would want to know what he was taking out of the Shinsengumi, he was still annoyed at the way Sougo was annoying him more than usual.

As Sougo lifted the cloth on the cart, he hummed in a singsong voice, "I wonder what you could be hiding in here Hijikata-sa…" he trailed off as he lifted the cover off completely.

There was a short pause and then Sougo asked, a note of what was probably disgust in his voice, "Hijikata-san, what is that?"

"Huh?" was all Hijikata could ask, no knowing what Sougo was talking about at all

Hijikata looked into the cart then as well, and all color drained from his face; Katsura (for some reason or another) had dressed himself up as a large bottle of mayonnaise and was posing 'enticingly' for all to see.

One of Hijikata's began twitching as Sougo turned to him and said, "Hijikata-san…I didn't know you were into that kinda thing…I think I should give you more credit as a fellow sadist. Demeaning someone by forcing them to dress up as a bottle of mayo is something even I wouldn't do…"

Hijikata felt an extremely painful headache as Katsura added (to Hijikata's horror), "This isn't demeaning at all. I chose to do this because I know how much Dou…Hijikata-kun loves his mayonnaise."

There was another pause, in which Hijikata could almost hear the gears clicking into place in Sougo's head; it made him want to slam his head into the nearest object (most likely Katsura, for causing this whole mess).

Suddenly, Sougo took out his phone and snapped a picture of Katsura and then Hijikata, a devilish smirk on his face. Before Hijikata could say anything, Sougo ran off with the with the phone shouting, "I bet Kondo-san is gonna love this!"

"Dammit Sougo," Hijikata yelled after the sadist prince's retreating form, getting ready to chase after his (sort of) comrade, "when I get my hands one you, I swear I'm gonna…"

"Stop," Katsura said, getting out of the cart (and looking completely ridiculous, "now's our chance to go."

Hijikata balked at the idea of letting Sougo run rampant with that photo (probably ruining Hijikata's reputation more than it already had been by that brat). But, at Katsura's knowing look, Hijikata grumbled, "Oh fine, let's get going."

Katsura nodded shortly and then began running at full speed toward the exit (making Hijikata wonder how he knew where the exit was). Hijikata had to sprint to catch up with Katsura and when he finally did, he felt oddly out-of-shape as Katsura seemed to still have so much energy left while Hijikata was huffing and puffing just to catch up with the Joui leader.

As they neared the exit, Hijikata noticed Yamazaki who noticed him and called out, "Fukucho, where are you—"

Yamazaki's question was cut off as Katsura in his mayonnaise costume barreled right over Yamazaki and kept running. Hijikata ran nimbly around the knocked-over Yamazaki and said quietly, solemnly, and quite seriously, "May he forever rest in peace…"

As Hijikata passed Yamazaki, he heard the spy yell, "I'm not dead, y'know!" Hijikata pretended not to hear anything and kept running, ignoring all other protests that Yamazaki made that he wasn't dead.

When Hijikata caught up to Katsura again, he commented between breaths, "You know, you knocked one of my comrades over right? You may have even killed him…"

"What?" Katsura said with disbelief, "There was someone there? I didn't notice him at all…he must have a very bland personality…"

Hijikata actually felt bad for Yamazaki that his bland personality and ability to blend so well into the background had caused him to be knocked over and possibly killed (I am not dead, Fukucho!).

"Well," Hijikata eventually commented, "I guess this is becoming a habit of yours isn't it?"

"What is?" Katsura asked

"Knocking people over." Hijikata responded "First, there was me with that door and now Yamazaki. I think you really need to stay away from people so they don't get hurt."

Katsura huffed, "I'm not a danger to anyone! The person who is a real danger to those around them is Gintoki! Do you know how he met Leader? He ran her over with his scooter!" Hijikata couldn't find anything to respond with as the two kept running towards the flower shop.

**And that is the end of that chapter. Hopefully, since the new semester has started, I will be updating on a more regular basis now. But, we shall see…As always, reviews are greatly appreciated as I love to know what you guys think. See you guys next update.**

**-****村山鶴**


	16. Plans are Made & People are Knocked Out

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. It's been a little while hasn't it? Sorry about that…here's the chapter, I hope y'all enjoy ^_^**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

Once Katsura and Hijikata returned to the flower shop hideout, they both stopped running, breathing heard. Then, Katsura, after he had caught his breath, gave Hijikata a look and burst out laughing. As the Joui leader's laughter continued and it became apparent that he wasn't going to stop any time soon, Hijikata began to get annoyed that Katsura seemed to be making fun of him.

Eventually, it got Hijikata became so irritated that his eyebrow rose high on his forehead and he asked, "What are you laughing at?"

Katsura continued laughing, making Hijikata loose even more of his (not very much) patience with the long-haired man. But, after a few more guffaws, Katsura seemed to run out of breath and, after a gasp or two for air, he said, "It's just…your face when you saw the mayonnaise costume was hilarious. You looked as if you were about to blow a gasket! But, I found that costume in your room, so I don't understand why you were so mad."

Eyebrow still raised, Hijikata said, "What costumes I have in my room is none of your business…A-anyway, do you know how dangerous that was? It looked as if Sougo was about to figure you out…"

"No he wasn't," Katsura shook his head, "I've snuck into the Shinsengumi plenty of times and none of you have figured me out—"

"You've what?" Hijikata interrupted, balking at the fact that Katsura (even though he was getting along with the guy at the moment) would dare to sneak into the Shinsengumi complex, "How many times has this happened?"

"Oh, not that many times," Katsura shrugged, "I don't usually go very far, after all I don't want to be caught. Just inside the front gate, usually as a delivery person of some kind…"

Hijikata began thinking about how many times they had deliveries at the Shinsengumi and began wondering how many of them were actually Katsura in disguise. But, before he could question the long haired man any further, Elizabeth came out, quickly wrote on a sign and showed it to Katsura and Hijikata, _Katsura-san I see that you've found the traitorous Douhou. But, before you mete out any punishment, Abe Shizuka has arrived and is requesting your presence._

Katsura looked confused for a moment and then asked, "Elizabeth, why are you being so formal? There's no reason for that, we're all comrades here no?"

Hijikata wondered why in the world Elizabeth's formality was what Katsura was asking about. But again, before the vice-captain could say anything, Elizabeth wrote another sign and slapped Katsura with it, _there's not time for that now! You need to meet with Abe Shizuka now!_

Rubbing his head, Katsura sighed, "Fine, let's go." And the three of them walked into the flower shop. Once they got to the door before the main room, Elizabeth stopped Hijikata from going any farther, making a vein pop out on the vice-captain's head.

Hijikata was about to shove Elizabeth out of the way and continue his march into the meeting when he remembered that Abe Shizuka had seen him before in that alleyway and Hijikata didn't have a good disguise on hand, so it was probably a bad idea to go inside the room.

Sighing, Hijikata decided that he would have to be content with pressing his ear against the door to try and see what the conversation was about (something he, and Sougo and a lot of other Shinsengumi members, did when Kondo-san had a conversation that Hijikata wasn't able to sit in on).

The first thing Hijikata heard was Shizuka ask in a shocked voice, "What in the world are you wearing?"

"Oh just a costume for my job. If you want to know your enemy then it's a good idea to work at the places they like." Was Katsura's reply

"Huh?" Shizuka said in response to Katsura's statement, "What are you talking about? What enemy?"

"Why the Shinsengumi of course." Katsura replied simply, "You do know that the vice-captain, Hijikata Toshiro, loves to eat mayonnaise, don't you? Because of this, I have decided that it would be a good idea to work at a mayonnaise factory to learn how to exploit this weakness."

"Ok…" Shizuka said hesitantly, "I get that…but, I still don't understand why you have to wear a mayonnaise bottle costume…"

"Well, isn't that obvious?" Katsura said with an eyebrow raise, "that's because when I took the job, they told me to be the mascot for their company."

"But…" Shizuka said, flabbergasted, "isn't their mascot an old man that looks like baby…?"

"Well, I didn't want to dress up as some old man that looks like a baby," Katsura said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I volunteered to be the bottle mascot and let some other poor sucker be the baby."

Hijikata was very close to bursting into the room and interrupting the conversation (another thing he usually wanted to do with Kondo-san's conversations), but he held back because he wanted to know what Shizuka wanted.

There was a lull in the conversation that made Hijikata wonder what was happening in the room and then, Shizuka said, "A-anyway, I have some news about what Ninomiya-sama want you to do. We need you to meet us in the sewers tomorrow morning for a trial run of our plan for what we have in store for the Shinsengumi."

Hijikata's ears perked at the sound of this and he pressed himself even closer to the door and he heard Katsura respond, "Oh? A trial run? You're not planning on just tricking us by luring us to the sewer to enact your plans?"

"No," Shizuka responded immediately (a little too quickly for Hijikata's taste), "we won't actually be going to the sewer that we'll be enacting our plans in. Just one close enough so that we'll be able to learn the layout."

"Hmmm," Katsura hummed, making Katsura think he was going to reject the plan, "and what insurance do I have that you're not lying to me?"

Shizuka sighed then, "You have Ninomiya-sama's word that he won't betray you during the trial run."

'Yeah,' Hijikata thought, wondering how Katsura was going to respond to this, 'but the real thing's a whole different story, isn't it?'

Katsura sighed, clearly thinking the same thing as Hijikata but instead of pointing out Shizuka's flaw in how he worded that last sentence, he said, "Fine I'll bring my group tomorrow to the sewers you have yet to disclose."

Then there were sounds of writing on a piece of paper and Shizuka said, "Here, this is where we're meeting tomorrow."

"And why did you write it down instead of just saying it out loud?" Katsura questioned

"In case there are any spies here to tell the Shinsengumi about our plans." Was the answer Shizuka gave

"Why would you think there would be spy here? Has something happened on your end?"

A short silence ensued and then Shizuka said, "Sorry, I can't tell you that…"

"Ok, then I guess this conversation is over. We will see you tomorrow near the Oedo dome."

"Gah!" Shizuka responded, "Could you announce that any louder? What if an enemy heard you?"

Katsura sighed again, "There are no enemies here, so there's nothing for you to worry about. Now, I believe that it is time for you to go."

An annoyed groan came from Shizuka and then there was a scraping noise he got up from the chair he was most likely siting on. Hijikata then heard steps and barely got away from the door and turned away so his face wouldn't easily be seen just as the door opened and Shizuka stormed out.

Hijikata then heard Elizabeth flip out a sign that Hijikata couldn't see (making him wish that the duck-penguin thing would just talk instead of using those ridiculous signs) and the two walked out of the flower shop together.

Once the door closed, Hijikata went into the room where Katsura was looking especially tired, one hand partly over his eyes as if the light in the room was much too bright, and asked, "So, this is clearly a trap. What do you want to do?"

"I don't think we have much of a choice but to go tomorrow. If we don't, they'll know that we suspect something…and I worry for Abe Shizuka's safety if they know that we know their plans."

"Wha?" Hijikata babbled, flabbergasted, "How can you even be thinking about that brat's safety? He tried to kill me, managed to kill my comrade, and is trying to kill all of us in some scheme that we don't know yet."

Katsura looked even more tired than he was before when he asked, "Do you know who that boy is?"

"Hah?" was Hijikata's response, "why in the world would I know about some brat that wants me and my group dead?"

"Ok then," Katsura said, "do you know why he's doing this, then?"

"I give you the same answer," Hijikata said, annoyed, "Why would I know about something like that?"

"Because," Katsura practically yelled, "you should try to remember the Shinsengumi's past mistakes and who got hurt because of them!"

"Eh?" Hijikata asked, genuinely confused, "What are you talking about? Which mistake are you yelling at us for this time?"

"The Ikedaya." Was all Katsura said

"We were right to raid the Ikedaya all that time ago. There were Joui activities going there that could have harmed Edo. I don't remember him being there, though."

"And what about his sister?" Katsura asked

"I don't know her and I don't remember killing any women either. You may think that the Shinsengumi are a pack of wolves, but we have morals too, y'know." Hijikata responded, getting even more annoyed than he was before.

"That's very true," Katsura said, "you didn't kill any women…"

"Then why are you so mad at me about this?" Hijikata interrupted, "And what does this have to do with Abe Shizuka?"

"Abe Shizuka's twin sister, Abe Shizuko, worked as an assistant to the innkeeper at the Ikedaya. Because the Shinsengumi raided that in, the people of that inn were all slaughtered as revenge for what you did."

Realization dawned on Hijikata's face then, he had remembered hearing something about that a while after the Ikedaya incident but Kondo-san had tried to keep it as quiet as possible in the Shinsengumi itself so people wouldn't question what they were doing in the Shinsengumi.

"Wait…" Hijikata said, realizing something else, "Why do you know about that?"

"Because," Katsura said eventually, "Abe Shizuka came to me after that incident, wanting revenge against the Shinsengumi for what happened to his sister. I told him I wouldn't let him in because he was much too young and that my organization wasn't a place for personal vendettas. If he wanted revenge he would have to go somewhere else. It's clear now that he did just that." (Well, Katsura-kun, aren't you being just a little hypocritical? Didn't you want to destroy the Bakufu because they caused your teacher's death?)

"Ah," Hijikata said 'eloquently', "but then, why did you seem to now know him when he came here the first time?"

"Would you recognize a little kid who's grown up so much since the last time you'd seen him? I sort of recognized his blond hair and blue eyes when he came here first, but it wasn't until I talked to him at length that I really remembered who he was."

"Ok," Hijikata said, "I get it now, you're concerned about for his safety. But, he's still a part of a plan to destroy the Shinsengumi and maybe more of Edo. What do you propose we do to protect him should the need arise?"

"We go along with their plan and if it seems that they're on to us or Ankoku decides that he's not going to protect his comrades like he should I will do all that I can to help him out."

"And if he tries to harm one of your comrades?" Hijikata asked, slightly bitter that Katsura seemed to care more about this brat than about the situation they were in

"Then I won't hesitate to make it so he can't participate in the battle. Besides, he's more of an asset to Ankoku away from the battlefield so I really doubt that he's going to be allowed to fight at all. He has a photographic memory after all."

Hijikata slapped his forehead with his hand, "Damn, of course he would have something like that. That way he could give me back the map and not seem to care at all…"

At that, Katsura chuckled, but before he made any sort of comment, Elizabeth came back with a sign that read: _Guys, we have a problem…_

Both Katsura and Hijikata turned around fully and groaned at the exact time, Elizabeth was carrying a knocked-out Abe Shizuka over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. It looked like it was time to come up with another plan…

**And that is the end of this chapter. I don't have anything else to say at the moment Dattebayo! So, as always, reviews are greatly appreciated as I love to know what you guys think. And, see you guys next update.**

**-****村山鶴**


	17. In Which Hijikata Becomes a Blond

**Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. Because last week's update was pretty late, here's this week's early ^_^ I hope you guys enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.**_

"Why the hell did you knock him out?" Hijikata growled loudly and savagely, a vein throbbing on his head, "Don't you know that we need him conscious for our plan to work? How the hell did this happen?"

_I didn't do it on purpose, _Elizabeth whipped out a sign, _It just kinda happened. The natural progression of things, as it would happen._

Exasperated, Hijikata practically, yelled, "Don't you dare give me that 'natural progressions of things' crap. That's something Sakata Gintoki would say! Again, what the hell happened?"

Elizabeth, looking pissed at this point; started writing furiously on a sign (how she did this while Shizuka was slug over her shoulder, will forever be a question). But, before Elizabeth could show Hijikata the sign (most likely smack the vice-captain of the Shinsengumi with it), Katsura said, trying to calm both Elizabeth and Hijikata down, "Now, now you two, why don't we just calm down and talk things out. Elizabeth, why don't you put Abe Shizuka down and tell us how you knocked him out. I'm sure this is just a big mistake."

_It's no mistake, _Elizabeth said, _I knocked him out because he pissed me off. The real question is why in the world I brought him back here…_

"You see what I mean? This is definitely something that Sakata Gintoki would do! Just because he's not in this story at the moment doesn't mean that he should be able to influence it! I demand Seppuku!"

_Why?_ Read Elizabeth's next sign, _It's not like I killed the guy. I just knocked him out. I even did it so he wouldn't spill your secret to Ninomiya Ankoku._

"Eh?" was all Hijikata managed to say at that point

"Indeed, Elizabeth," Katsura said with a slight smile that Hijikata had been left pretty much speechless for once, "Go on. Tell us how this happened."

_Well, it all started when I was walking the brat out the door. Things were a little too silent for a while so eventually I asked if there was anything wrong with the deal between our two groups. Shizuka said there wasn't anything wrong, but that we would soon be in trouble with his precious Ninomiya-sama. Annoyed, I asked him what he meant by that. He then said that he knew that the new member of the group was in fact Hijikata Toshiro. Upon further questioning, he told me that he realized it because you were standing outside, barely hidden. SO, if anyone should commit Seppuku, it's you 'Douhou-kun'._

"Wha?" Hijikata spluttered, "I don't have to commit Seppuku! If I had been able listen in on that conversation in the first place then I wouldn't have had to attempt to hide poorly. Because Katsura didn't have any costumes on hand for me to borrow I couldn't be nearly well enough prepared! So, this is all Katsura's fault!"

_Don't drag Katsura into this! _Elizabeth wrote in all caps, _if you hadn't run into that door that Katsura was opening then none of this would have happened in the first place!_

"And then where would we have been?" Hijikata spat back, "both the Shinsengumi and your group would be under threat because some guy that seems to be both obsessed with and hates Katsura wants to do us all in!"

Elizabeth again began writing furiously. But, before he could smack Hijikata with it, Katsura interrupted again, "Elizabeth, we don't have time for this. If you want to be mad at the Shinsengumi, do it later. Right now we need to focus on the knocked out boy slung over your shoulder."

_Fine, _Elizabeth wrote, _I'll continue. As I was saying, Shizuka told me that he knew that Hijikata was alive and collaborating with us to stop his group's plans. I denied it, of course, and said that Douhou only looked like Hijikata Toshiro, a very unfortunate coincidence to be sure. Shizuka, of course, didn't believe me and said he was going to expose us. So then, he said that I had walked him far enough and started running away from me. Then, I chased him and one thing led to another and he was knocked out. Not wanting to cause a further scene as we were in the middle town, I carried him back here and told you guys that we had a problem._

Hijikata was thoroughly unimpressed with Elizabeth's story, this was no way that this mess was his fault in the least (at least he wouldn't admit it was, he didn't want to admit to his mistake of not hiding well enough).

Katsura, though, seemed to think otherwise, "Good job Elizabeth, thinking on your feet like that. Although, it might have been a little better to tie him up than knock him out…But, on second thought, that probably would have caused more of a scene…"

Elizabeth, looking smug, held up a sign that said, _It's time for you to eat your words Hijikata. As you can see, Katsura liked my plan! Also, you should be thanking me for trying to cover for your mistakes!_

Far from wanting to thank Elizabeth, Hijikata was getting the strongest urge to smack the duck-penguin thing (a feeling he was very used to feeling around Sougo or Yamazaki or, much more often, Sakata Gintoki). But, before Hijikata could even get around to threatening about smacking Elizabeth, Abe Shizuka stirred.

They boy's eyes fluttered open and he groaned indistinctly. Then, realizing where he was, he began struggling against the confines of Elizabeth's arm, shouting, "What the hell do you think you're doing? When I tell Ninomiya-sama about this, you will face the full wrath of our group!"

"You think we're going to let you go?" Hijikata asked, incredulous that Shizuka would even think that

Shizuka, looking indignant himself, growled, "No, I think no such thing! I'm going to escape when you least expect it!"

Elizabeth, turning his head towards Shizuka (and unnerving the boy in the process), held up a sign that said _Well then, we're just going to have to keep a close eye on you aren't we? So, you can't escape when we least expect it._

Shizuka scoffed at that, "There's no way you can watch me 24/7."

"You wanna bet?" Hijikata said with a sneer, "There was one time in the Shinsengumi that one of the known Joui terrorists came under our 'protection'. I was put in charge of watching him and getting any information we needed out of him. By the time he was taken to jail after we'd proved he was guilty of his crimes, he was more than happy to be put in solitary confinement. If you think that I can't watch a brat like you, then you're sorely mistaken."

Shizuka pulled a face at that, and said, "This is why the Shinsengumi need to be punished! You do these things to people that are inhumane! I should have killed you in that alley!"

"But you didn't." Hijikata scowled, "You killed my comrade. And now we're standing here, you captured and at my, and Katsura's mercy. And while Katsura seems to think you deserve leniency, I don't. If it were up to me…"

"Hijikata," Katsura said, voice full of scorn, "that is enough. It's one thing to threaten him. But, don't bring my name into this. It could seriously ruin my reputation after all."

Exasperated once again, Hijikata responded through gritted teeth, "I believe you did all by yourself when you decided to become a terrorist!"

Hijikata scoffed, "I am not a terrorist! I just want to change the Bakufu so that they think more of the people of Edo and less of their own political agenda! Is that so wrong? If a few Amanto get hurt in the process, then that's not my fault, I usually give plenty of warning if I'm planning to blow something up."

That really wasn't helping Katsura case, Hijikata thought. But, as he was about to point that out, Elizabeth wrote another sign. But, once again, she was interrupted in showing it to the group, something happened. Shizuka somehow managed to escape Elizabeth's grasp.

"Ha!" the boy shouted, "Now you're all in trouble! I'm gonna tell Ninomiya-sama about this and you'll all pay for your insolence!" and then Hijikata started running toward the flower shop exit. But, before he could get very far, Hijikata, police instincts kicking in (Because, after all, he was the vice-captain of a group of thug cops), tackled him and the boy's head banged painfully on the floor, making him pass out once again.

Then, Hijikata heard Katsura and Elizabeth chuckle, causing to turn and ask, slightly angrily, "What's so funny?"

Katsura continued chuckling lightly while Elizabeth held up another sign, _After all the crap you gave me about knocking our 'enemy' out; you do the exact same thing. Isn't that what most people would call, hypocritical?_

"And another thing," Katsura said with a slight smile, "this is most definitely something that would happen to Gintoki as well. He would say one thing and then, most likely on accident, that exact thing would happen to him."

Pursing his lips in annoyance Hijikata growled, "I am nothing like that silver haired sugar freak…now, help me tie this brat up so he can't try to escape again…"

With another chuckle, Katsura said, "Ok, Elizabeth got the rope and chair. For the first time in a while we have an interrogation on our hands."

Elizabeth, smiling (somehow) slightly evilly, nodded, her next sign reading _Heh, heh this is gonna be fun._

* * *

When Abe Shizuka awoke once again, he found himself not over the shoulder of a strange duck-penguin creature, but tied up in a chair. With an internal groan, Shizuka imagined that Ninomiya-sama would not be happy that he had been captured. And, if (when, Shizuka corrected himself mentally, he was going to escape again, after all) he escaped he would make sure to expose Katsura's trickery to Ninomiya-sama and both Katsura and his group and the Shinsengumi would pay.

But, then Hijikata asked, "So, what are you going to do now? We have you tied up, and there are three of us so I doubt you'll be able to escape again. If you do try to escape again, though, I imagine that Katsura here'll be more than happy to have a turn to knock you out."

Katsura chuckled at that, "Indeed, I would be more than happy to keep him from trying to run away for a third time."

"Ha!" Shizuka spat at Hijikata and Katsura, with much more bravado than he actually felt at the moment, "Well, the joke's on you! If I'm not back with Ninomiya-sama soon then he's going to know something's up and send someone to get me!"

"Actually," Katsura said after a moment of strange (to Shizuka anyway) scrutiny, "I don't think that's going to be too much of a problem. The more that I look at you the more I think that there won't be a problem at all. In fact, in a while, I'm sure that 'Abe Shizuka' will show back up at his hideout. A little 'cooperation' from you will be necessary, of course, but I have a good feeling about this plan."

Taking the obvious bait, Shizuka snapped, "What plan?"

"Well," Katsura said with a smile (that reminded Hijikata of many of the sadistic smiles he had seen on Sakata Gintoki's face), "If seems to me that you look a lot like Douhou-kun here. With just a little bit of work, I'm sure that we can dress him up like you and send him on his way. That way, you won't get into any trouble with Ankoku and we'll learn your plans."

After a moment of rather shocked silence from both Hijikata and Shizuka, they both said at the same time, "How do you figure that I look like him?"

"Well, for one," Katsura said, "you're in synch. And two, apart from your hair and maybe a little bit of a height difference, you could practically be twins. So, Hijikata, if you would kindly allow me to make you look like Shizuka-kun here, our plan can be put into action. And, while your transformation is taking place, Elizabeth will extract all the necessary information out of Shizuka so you can go into the hideout without any trouble."

"And what makes you think that I'm gonna agree to this?" Hijikata growled, not liking the idea of infiltrating a place in disguise at all (he was more the type to just burst in without much of a plan and see where things went from there).

"Well," Katsura said, "you do owe me for all the trouble you've cause of late. And, I imagine that you want to know Ankoku's plans as much as the rest of us do. So, will you agree?"

Hijikata sighed, not wanting to admit that Katsura's plan actually sounded pretty good, and said, "Fine, I'll go along with this stupid plan. But, the second things start going wrong I'm gonna do things my way and bust the place up."

Katsura grinned, but before he could respond, Shizuka growled, "If you think that I'm just going to go along with this then you're wrong, you'll never get any information out of me!"

* * *

A while later, Sakubo opened the door of the hideout to an annoyed looking (and somehow taller, maybe) and asked, "Chizuo, what took you so long? Kashira had practically gone mad waiting for you to return."

Shizuka seemed momentarily confused for some reason. But then the blond said grumpily, "It's not like I wanted to be late. Some things came up."

**And that is the end of that chapter! Yay, plans are starting to make head way as we reach the halfway point, about, of this story (nope, this story is not ending any time soon I have grand plans and intend to keep this story going for a long-ish time). And with that, I have nothing else to say. So, as always, reviews are greatly appreciated as I love to know what you guys think. And, see you guys next update.**

**-****村山鶴**


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